Who Has More Affairs, Men Or Women?
Here's what surveys say.
Dusan Petkovic / Shutterstock He’s a pig who only thinks with his penis. Or, she’s not getting the affection she needs at home. We’ve basically just summed up the difference between why men cheat versus why women cheat, right?
But, are these really the main reasons each sex turns to infidelity? It turns out — there’s more to know.
First off, let's clarify — Who is more likely to cheat: men or women? According to data from a recent General Society Survey, the Institute of Family Studies reports that 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women have had sex with someone other than their spouse while married.
So, now that we know how common having an affair seems to be in both men and women, what else do we need to know? That infidelity hurts? Check. That infidelity is usually a symptom of a much deeper problem? That infidelity often destroys mental, physical and financial wellbeing? Check and check.
Well then, why does it happen?
Specifically, why do men cheat? And, why do women cheat? To get clear insight on that, we checked in with the master of knowing the differences between men and women, relationship expert and author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, John Gray. He brought along sex coach Lauren Brim, medium Bee Herz, relationship coach Ravid Yosef and YourTango SVP Melanie Gorman to get to the bottom of this topic.
Our panel strongly refutes the idea that men are just ravenous, sex-starved beasts (from Mars) and women are just affection-seeking wallflowers (from Venus) BUT do agree the sexes do usually turn to infidelity from different angles.
Per John Gray, some men can have perfectly great sex lives at home and still stray just because the opportunity is there. He argues that, on a whole, men are better able to detach sex from those sticky, sweet feelings women associate with the act.
So why do 13 percent of women cheat? Some argue that a woman having an affair is looking for an escape, either momentarily or permanently, from a relationship that just doesn’t work. However, as we move away from our Victorian Era sexual mores (not to mention petticoats), maybe more women are just interested in getting laid with someone else.
Thoroughly confused?
Yeah, maybe there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer for why we cheat. But we do know that by getting to the root of why there was cheating in your relationship that you can overcome it (or embrace it, hmmmmm?) and live the kind of amazing love life that you so richly deserve. And remember, someone cheating on you isn't a reflection of you but rather themselves.You can't make someone stay who doesn't want to stay, and you can't make someone faithful who doesn't want to be faithful. All you can do is trust yourself enough to leave if it ever happens.
Give Lauren, Bee, or Ravid a call if you have infidelity problems in your relationship.