7 Things Highly Charming, Charismatic Women Do Way Differently

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For many "normal" people who don't actually enjoy talking to others, being charming seems like an impossible feat.

Fortunately, there are certain characteristics and personality traits charismatic people have that we can all learn from — especially if we want to put ourselves out there when dating, finding a good career, or just making connections with our neighbors.

What is a charismatic personality?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary charisma meaning, a charismatic personality is one that emanates a "special magnetic charm or appeal."

Charismatic people use nonverbal behaviors like posture and eye contact to project a charismatic personality.

You might call a charismatic person charming.

Charismatic or charming people are the ones you know that always seem to hold others' attention and are good are getting their way without seeming aggressive or arrogant.

Charisma differs between men and women.

Much like the gender pay gap, there seems to be a charisma gap between men and women. Research from 2019 found that women tend to sound less charismatic than men, which unfortunately leads to engagement when it comes to things like business pitches and political speeches.

RELATED: 4 Ways To Become 10x More Charming, According To Science

A charismatic woman is one who makes others feel special.

As author Frank Cabane writes in The Charisma Myth, "Charismatic individuals choose specific behaviors that make other people feel a certain way."

Charismatic leaders know how to make others feel like they're being heard.

Charisma is a skill.

While it might seem like charisma is a "you either have it or you don't" personality trait, Cabane writes that it's actually a "learned behavior." This is great news because it means you can learn how to become more charismatic yourself!

So, take notes and practice more charismatic leadership at work or in everyday life.

How to Be a Charismatic Woman

1. Make people feel important.

Charismatic women are pay attention to and are genuinely fascinated by what you have to say, and would often rather talk about you than themselves.

They’re willing to get real with you and ask thoughtful questions about you as if you’re the most important person in the world. Woah, why do you feel so warm and fuzzy while you’re talking to them?

To sharpen your listening tools, practice being as present as possible and use charismatic movements.

Don’t just wait for your turn to talk when someone else is speaking, and definitely don’t start rehearsing what you’re going to say next — then you’ll zone out and miss what they have to say!

Look people in the eye during your conversation, and nod when appropriate so the speaker knows that you’re empathetic to what they’re saying.

Don’t start the chat with any sort of agenda for the direction you want your talk to go, because when you’re actively listening and contributing to the conversation, a satisfying direction will take shape all on its own.

2. Practice your public speaking skills.

It’s one thing to be great at public speaking, but that ability also tends to transfer over to being great at one-on-one conversations.

Charming people know how to speak concisely and get their point across while making you feel magically at ease.

To practice your speaking skills, check out Toastmasters International, which has helped people from every walk of life get their speech-making game face on.

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3. Accentuate your best features.

Female charisma isn't about being the most beautiful woman in the room, but the most charismatic women know how to rock what they've got.

Instead of approaching their looks negatively or dwelling on anything they don’t like about themselves, they focus on making their favorite features center stage.

Think of that acquaintance of yours with the perfectly-placed highlighter that shows off her beautiful cheekbones, or the woman whose signature look is all about beautiful dresses that highlight her great shoulders — when they walk into the room, they’re who we want to be.

If your main goal when shopping for new clothes is finding things that hide features you don’t like, it’s time for a big change. Forget about that “flaw” and instead think about what you love about yourself so you can focus on highlighting that instead.

To delve deeper into this, perfect an awesome at-home blowout and learn how to style your hair in the way that makes you feel like your most fabulous self. Then, become a pro at picking out the perfect clothes for your body type.

4. Make yourself look approachable.

Body language speaks volumes about who you are.

Charming people glide into a room with confidence, but they don’t necessarily take the whole spotlight. While a leader may want to take on the most powerful stance they can come up with, a charmer wants to make sure they remain approachable and relatable.

Part of all that charisma is about making others feel like they’re important, after all. When someone speaks to you, turn your knees or face toward them so they know you’re invested.

5. Smile regularly.

People gravitate to the most positive source in the room, so if you’ve got smiles and a good attitude to share, you’re golden.

Feeling genuinely good about life is no simple feat and is a different process for everyone, but it's possible for everyone to learn to become more positive and optimistic.

6. Tell hilarious stories.

You all know that one friend who lights up a room with the retelling of a simple story, making every moment come to life and keeping you hanging on the edge of your seat with laughter and suspense.

Good storytelling is a fine art — and a lost one, at that!

Building up your confidence and speaking skills will help with this one, but another great way to tell more vibrant stories is to take an improv class. It will shake you out of your comfort zone and get you used to thinking on the spot and making stories come to life.

7. Be confident — or at least they look like you are.

Not surprisingly, confidence is attractive — and that includes having the confidence necessary to be vulnerable.

One of the things that makes charming people so appealing is that they don’t feel a constant need to intimidate others, and are willing to level with you. Letting go of the need to put on false airs to make that happen only comes with feeling good about who you are. 

Fake it 'til you make it or build your confidence from the ground up, but no matter what, believing in yourself is vital! 

When in doubt, remember: you’re probably already way more charming than you think! So go out there and be awesome.

RELATED: 5 Ways To Charm The Pants Off Everyone In The Room

Claire Hannum is a writer and former editor for SELF and The Frisky.

This article was originally published at Self. Reprinted with permission from the author.