What It's Like Being A Sapiosexual (AKA Smart Girls Turn Me On)

Photo: WeHeartIt

I'm 54 years old and I've been happily single for the past 36 years. I love my emotional and economic independence. In fact, I love the single life so much that I actually have an "I Love Being Single" T-shirt and hoodie that I wear with pride. I have zero intention of entering into a relationship.

In addition to being perpetually single, I'm also a sapiosexual, which means I'm attracted to or inspired by another person's intelligence.

I realized I was a sapiosexual when I was a vocational trainer in Sydney. A big part of my job included assessing and training clients to be the best they possibly could be for their chosen occupation.

After reading women's resumes for 8 hours a day, I realized that there's a lot more to women's ideologies than just sexual attributes; women have myriad academic and occupational competencies they should be proud of.  Reading those resumes made me realize that women have skills and competencies to be admired and respected, which are completely unrelated to sex.

Because of that, I find myself far more attracted to a woman's "smarts" and mind than I am to a pretty body or face, or to her sexual potential.

Some of my guy friends think I'm gay because of my sapiosexual ideologies and believe I should be sexually motivated to want sex and that it's unnatural not to want it.

But I haven't had sex in 36 years simply because I'm not interested in it.

I once had a girlfriend and that relationship ended when I was 18, but since then I haven't had relationships. My parents never knew of my sapiosexual tendencies, but are aware of my ideologies.

I'm much more interested in a woman's intellectual ability than her sexual ability and I don't care what anyone thinks. I have far more important items on my social agenda than being popular or impressive or conforming to the mindless attitudes of the macho movement.

Men have been brought up to be "manly" in their philosophies and part of that upbringing includes being sexually interested in women, which I'm not. Some men only see women as a sexual entity and that is their only analysis of a woman. 

Bottom line: I love the single life and am more than happy to have women in the "friend zone," as opposed to a romantic or sexual relationship. 

Though I don't know any other sapiosexuals personally, or actively seek them out for relationships, there may be other sapiosexuals out there who do enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships. But I'm not one of them.

At the end of the day, appearance wins the eye, but a brilliant mind captures the heart.