17 Thoughts We'll Have While Watching 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'
Side effects include stink-eye, dry-heaving, and intense feelings of being turned off.
Women all over the country will be flocking to the theater this weekend to see Fifty Shades Of Grey, the first in a three-part movie series. Lord, help us.
The reviews hit hard this week. At a surprisingly high 33 percent on Rotten Tomatoes at the time of writing (note: this writer does expect that rating to drop as more votes come in...), our expectations are about as low as can be. For what it's worth, this movie could (but probably not) have some redeeming moments. We've heard there are some jokes!
While called by some as the worst movie they've ever seen, Dakota Johnson has received some praise for her portrayal of wimpy Anastasia Steele. But the same can't be said for Jamie Dornan as Mr. Grey. He's been called "a casting disaster."
We have yet to see the movie, but we're sure these will be some of the thoughts running through our mind during those two hours of suffering.
Cue the gags. (And not the sexual ones.)
1.OK, so this is awkward Haven't quite felt it this intensely before.
2.Nope, nobody talks like that The writing is atrocious!
Fifty Shades of Grey - PerezHilton
3.Why am I here again?
The Little Mermaid - raiseyourflag
4.How much longer is this movie? Please free me And Anastasia.
5.Time for a popcorn refill
6.Jamie Dornan Terrible actor. Not-so-terrible abs.
Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey - wikia
7.Who bites her lips this much?
Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele - tumblr
8.Fully hate-watching
9.I should have watched this at home Alone. Not with 300 horny women.
Allison Williams on 'GIRLS' - wordpress
10.Oh God, do I hear a woman moaning in this theater?
11.There are too many people here and they're too excited
12.Again, why did I do this to myself?
13.Maybe this means I'm a masochist?
14.This is not sexy This is the opposite of chemistry. Didn't they test the actors for chemistry before casting?
Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in '50 Shades Of Grey' - tumblr
15.Still rooting for Ian Somerhalder as Christian
16.Are they really going to make two more of these movies? Why must that happen? Can we get a new cast?
Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie on 'SATC' - backstage
17.And just how many times are they going to say vanilla?
