10 Hannah Montana Reactions To Miley Cyrus' Naked Antics

A Miley Cyrus BDSM-themed short called "Tongue Tied" was rumored to be part of the New York City Porn Festival. Like everything else the thirsty former Disney star does, this got a ton of hype: The whole world would, ostensibly, see Miley Cyrus naked for the umpteenth time. How exciting! How thrilling! How novel! How new!

Except it's not gonna happen.

Though an extended four-minute version of "Tongue Tied," which featured Cyrus wearing little more than electrical tape and tiny undies (in some scenes, if that), was reportedly listed on the New York City Porn Festival schedule, the film — and the very nude Cyrus — are now said to not be appearing. The singer's rep told press, "Miley was proud to make a film with acclaimed filmmaker Quentin Jones. Neither she nor Quentin are participating in this 'festival' in any way."

How devastating. In the meantime while you mourn, check out how Hannah Montana feels about Miley Cyrus' endless pit of desperation.

1.Unlike her Disney alter ego, Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus lacks discretion

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Giphy

2.Miley Cyrus chopped off her hair, and with it, some of her sense

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

3.This is usually how stuff like this starts

Miley Cyrus - Tumblr

4.To which her younger, wiser self would reply:

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

5.She then appropriated what she called "urban" culture To Miley Cyrus, "urban" means "twerking" and wearing grills, even though she's never successfully twerked in her damn life.

Miley Cyrus in 'We Can't Stop' - Giphy

6.Then she twerked on Robin Thicke (who appropriates Marvin Gaye songs)

Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke at the VMAs - Tumblr

7.It was one of the grossest things anyone has ever seen

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Giphy

8. But we couldn't stop watching for the same reason you slow down when you drive past a car crash. It's morbid, but you have to see everything.

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

9.Of course, Miley Cyrus made headlines afterward, which was exactly what she wanted, because she's too thirsty to understand the difference between positive and negative attention

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

10.Now addicted to said attention, the "Wrecking Ball" video showed Miley Cyrus naked and demonstrating to the world a slew of easy ways to get yeast infections

Miley Cyrus naked in her 'Wrecking Ball' video - Tumblr

11.Now, a BDSM-themed Miley Cyrus video, "Tongue Tied," is being featured in a porn festival

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

12.In "Tongue Tied," Miley Cyrus can be seen in various states of undress and flexibility

Miley Cyrus in 'Tongue Tied' - Giphy

13.She wears little more than homemade pasties, electrical tape and fishnets in most scenes

Miley Cyrus in 'Tongue Tied' - Giphy

14.Miley Cyrus tries really hard to be sexy

Miley Cyrus topless in 'Tongue Tied' - Tumblr

15.But we're all just like

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

16.Let's be honest: Blackface really is the next step

Miley Cyrus topless in 'Tongue Tied' - Tumblr

17.Because she's like, so edgy

Miley Cyrus naked in 'Tongue Tied' - Tumblr

18.It's just sort of sad that she won't follow her own advice

Miley Cyrus - Tumblr