We're on to you, fakers.
By Amanda Chatel — Written on Jul 25, 2014
Breaking news: Dudes fake it. I know! I know! It's news to me, too, but it's true! You might be sitting there thinking, "My man would never fake it. I would know if he did," but would you know? Could you know?
Not one, but two studies, one by Time Out and another by the University of Kansas, have found that 30 percent of men have faked an orgasm at some point or another. The number one reason for this is because of the pressure that comes with their partner's orgasm having already been achieved or on the brink of happening. There's also the fact that while it's socially acceptable for a woman to turndown sex, the same doesn't go for men. Men are sex maniacs! If they start saying, "NO," to sex then the world will flip off its axis and going spiraling into outer space. It will be a MESS.
So, since some men are faking it, and out of "kindness," according to Harvard urology professor, Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, is there any way you can tell? Sure! Here's how.
1. He Puts On A Ridiculous Performance
AskMen actually has a guide for how dudes can perfect faking an orgasm. But are we really surprised by this? AskMen says, "Overacting will kill this performance. You must do your best to have your fake orgasm be as much like a real one as possible. Don't overdo it with loud moans, crazy facial expressions, lots of thrashing about, or anything else out of character during your fake climax." So, yeah, any excessive moaning is going to tell you something is up.
2. He Climaxes In Record Speed
You orgasm, then he has his orgasm RIGHT afterward, but yet far quicker than normal? Well, that's that whole pressure and "kindness”"thing Dr. Morgentaler mentioned. Sometimes it's just easier to pretend you did, so your partner doesn't have to wait until you finally do. Basic math.
3. He Still Has An Erection
If you’ve had sex even one time, you know that once a guy comes, his penis becomes flaccid. It may not be immediate, but it does happen within a few minutes. If your dude still has an erection 10 minutes afterward, then duh!
4. He Goes To Sleep Immediately Afterward
"While it's OK for a woman to say she's too tired to make love, or has a headache - in fact it's so common there are jokes about it - it's not acceptable for men,” says Morgentaler. Since that’s the case, if he rolls over to go to sleep ASAP after sex instead of cuddling like he usually does (because he usually does, right?), then maybe he faked it because he just wanted to sleep, but society wouldn’t let him say it!
5. The Infamous "Wet Spot" Is Missing
As the study points out, it’s far easier to fake it when a condom is involved. If you’re in a monogamous relationship where your preferred method of birth control is The Pill, then you know that sex without a condom leads to the wet spot. No wet spot to argue over whose turn it is to sleep in it? He faked it.
6. He Darts For The Bathroom The Second It's "Over."
Quick! Hide that evidence that there’s no semen in the condom! As we mentioned, it may be easier to fake it with a condom, but it does involve some quick moving on his part. If he jumps out of bed immediately after he supposedly orgasmed, and runs for the bathroom, and he’s never done that before, then you might have a faker on your hands. However, as AskMen tells their gentlemen readers, "It's unlikely that your girl is going to go digging through the trash for evidence of your orgasm." Ha! Yeah right.