Are All Relationships Destined To Get Boring? (Not If You Know This Secret!)

Is it possible to have a long-term love affair where the romance and desire for one another are as intense as when it first began?

Yes, but many couples don't have the skills necessary to sustain this type of passionate sex life and intimacy in their relationships — that's why many tend to get bored in their marriages.

But why is it so simple to start a wonderful, passionate relationship with love and desire in the beginning, only for those feelings (and the passionate sex you once had) to fade and become more difficult as time goes on?

RELATED: The Top 3 Reasons He Stopped Having Sex With You

Science has figured out that there are “stages” of love as you begin to date someone, and those feelings, in the start, can actually overwhelm your own common sense sometimes!

It seemed like it was easy in the beginning because it was new and an excess of dopamine flooded through your brain and your partner’s, too. Over time, however, this flood of chemicals begins to change and mature, and the longer you stay with your spouse, the harder it can seem for you to feel those hot, fiery urges like you did before.

So how can you achieve that feeling when you've been married for years?

Believe it or not, while you might not feel the same exact giddy way that you did when you first met your spouse, you can still feel something akin to that! Just because you don’t have the same rush of hormones and chemicals doesn’t mean that you can’t feel passion for your partner anymore.

YourTango relationship experts Tammy NelsonSusan HeitlerJohn GrayAnnie Gleason and Margaret Paul sit down and discuss the different ways to build harmony in a relationship for a lifetime of amazing passion and sex. 

You grow closer to your spouse in numerous ways as you both grow together, and there’s no reason that your incredible love life has to die just because you’re not in the puppy love stage of romantic love anymore.

It might be more of a challenge or require a bit more work, but yes, you really can achieve the type of passionate love you need with your spouse of five, 10, or even 25 years!

Sex and intimacy are an important, integral part of your relationship, and when things begin to slip away, it can feel awkward to try and get them going again. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed to be boring, or that your sex life will automatically die.

In fact, research shows that many married couples are actually having more sex than singles! So some rumors about relationships aren’t to be trusted at all.

Watch the YourTango Experts videoabove to learn what you should be doing with your spouse and the few things you should avoid doing at ALL costs. You'll be surprised just how much it will make a difference. 

RELATED: How Your Fierce Sense Of Independence Actually Makes You A Better Partner

If you have questions or need advice about this or any other relationship topic, reach out to our experts! They're here to help, and they'd love to talk to you on just about any topic!