Sex With Your Ex: Always A Bad Idea?

One study suggests some feel good after sex with an ex. But don't jump in the sack just yet...

By Kait Smith — Written on Feb 13, 2012

If you asked someone on the street, "Is sex with an ex a good idea?" The answer would likely be a resounding, "No!" In fact, according to our Break Up With Your Ex research, a whopping 81 percent agree that ex sex is always a bad idea. How To Actually Get Over A Breakup, According To Research

Psychologists, however, seem to disagree. A recently released study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology suggests that sex with a former lover isn't so bad after all.

Researchers observed the post-breakup adjustment of 137 married couples who had recently separated. Many stayed in touch with their former partners, and of those couples, the ones who were still having sex were actually doing better psychologically than those who weren't.

Before you grab your phone and call your last boyfriend, take note of this: "Sexual contact with an ex-partner seems to be associated with better well being for those who aren't over the relationship," says lead author Ashley Mason, a clinical psychology PhD candidate.

That’s right, she said "not over the relationship." So, while the headlines may promote ex sex, it's not a cure-all for everyone. Rather, those who benefitted from the sexual intimacy still felt a psychological attachment to their former partner, and were ultimately "settling" for sex even though they wished to get back together. Doesn't sound like a great deal to me.

The researchers go on to explain that sex with an ex prevents a person from seeking out and finding new relationships, which also elongates the post-breakup healing process.

All the more reason to break up with your ex once and for all, we say.

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