What To Do When Your Partner REFUSES To Give Oral Sex

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oral sex

Foreplay is an important part of having a satisfying sexual experience. It is not just about the size of the male partner's penis or how flexible your female partner is. Building up to the final act is a vital part of the whole sexual experience. If you and your partner are pretty much going straight to sexual intercourse, your sex life will become predictable, and possibly lead to sexual frustration in one or both partners. 

Oral sex can be very pleasurable and cause the male or female to achieve an orgasm even prior to sexual intercourse. While the majority of men and women who receive oral enjoy it, there are a number of individuals who don't like oral sex, either giving or receiving.

Women who do not like oral sex, or cunnilingus, may feel self-conscious about how she tastes or smells down there. Some women may also feel uncomfortable about how their vagina looks and may be more comfortable receiving oral if the lights are turned off.


If your female partner doesn't like oral sex, ease her into it. Let her know that you enjoy pleasuring her that way and, while you are doing it, express your happiness in doing it by telling her, "You taste so good" or "I love making you have an orgasm this way."

You can also suggest using a flavored lubricant to make her feel more comfortable if she is worried about how she tastes or smells down there. If you partner is absolutely against it, respect her wishes and do not do it.

Although the majority of men do enjoy receiving oral sex, believe it or not, there are men who prefer not to receive it. Similar to women, he may feel self-conscious about the way he tastes. He may worry about making the female gag. He may also feel a little vulnerable, or be afraid of accidently biting or feeling discomfort from teeth scraping against his sensitive penis.

When it comes to giving a man a blowjob, some partners may have a gag reflex, which makes the partner feel nauseous. Some partners may also feel that it is uncomfortable to perform oral sex on the man as he or she may be unable to open their mouth wide enough or may experience jaw discomfort.


If you are in a relationship in which you prefer not to give or receive oral sex, there are other types of foreplay you can engage in to make your sexual experience satisfying.

Instead of your tongue or mouth, explore one another with your hands or fingers. You can still stimulate your male or female partner with your hands and fingers. You can also incorporate a sex toy or vibrator during foreplay.

For female pleasure, there are tongue-shaped toys that can simulate oral sex. For male pleasure, you can use a male masturbation product to simulate oral sex and use it while you are stroking your partner's penis. A vibrator on a low setting can also be used to stimulate the partner's nipples, testicles, penis, and the vaginal area.

Remember: it is important to respect your partner and his or her comfort level.