Love, Self

10 Worst Sex Scenes Of 2009

Butler and Heigl

Despite the slack economy, people still spent their time and money on entertainment this year, and it wasn't always worth it. Need proof? Check out these low moments of on-screen sexuality. From the silver screen to live television, here are 2009's worst offenders of tasteless, icky or just plain unsexy sex scenes. 

1. Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II in The Watchmen
We weren't sure if this was supposed to be funny or sexy, but it failed on both counts. This strange, awkward, quasi-fetish superhero lovemaking scene took place on board a spaceship and was set to Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." And that's all we have to say about that. 5 Wacky Sexual Fetishes To Start Your Day

2. Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in The Ugly Truth
This year's award for the worst imitation of a fake orgasm goes to Katherine Heigl in The Ugly Truth, who paid tribute to the restaurant "O" scene in When Harry Met Sally. In The Ugly Truth, Heigl's character wore vibrating panties to a business dinner, and the remote ended up in the hands of a kid at the next table. You can imagine what happens next. Funny? Yes. As good as the original? Not a chance.

3. Alien-Human Sex in District 9
We loved superb B-movie District 9, in which hundreds of thousands of stranded aliens live in a Johannesburg refugee camp, but we could have gone without that glimpse of alien-human sex.

4. Bruno (All Of It)
People who paid to see Sacha Baron Cohen act out his alter ego Bruno got an eyeful—a sore eyeful. From the opening sequence featuring a talking penis, to the man-on-pygmy action, to what perhaps may be the most awkward seduction of a political candidate, Baron Cohen's movie is full of unpleasant, uncomfortable sex—which, we're sure, is just how he wanted it.

5. The Last House On The Left Rape Scene
This horror film started out with a brutal scene: The rape and abuse of the two young girls, one killed and the other beaten nearly to death. Sure, it figured into the plot of the movie, but it went overboard in its gruesomeness, as the villain egged on his son to molest the girl, and got angry when his son refused. How To Know When Sex Is Not Consensual

6. Izzie-Denny's Ghost Sex, Grey's Anatomy
Izzie had an "I see dead people" disorder, the result of a brain tumor, but she took it a step further when she decided to have sex with the ghost she was seeing. Granted, he was her hot ex-fiance, but all we could think was: Grey's where are you going with this ridiculous plot line?

7. Blackout-Drunk Sex in Observe And Report
Date rape passed off as funny sex isn't funny. Sure, this was a lighthearted comedy, and the scene where Seth Rogen's character forced himself on a blackout-drunk woman was meant to be silly, but it's not OK to have sex with a woman who's so drunk she clearly doesn't know what she's doing. When a movie normalizes this, lines get blurred and women stop realizing when sex is right—and when it's really, really wrong. Are Women Too Insecure To Have Sober Sex?

8. Megan Fox And Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body
This girl-on-girl scene between two hot movie stars got everything wrong. It wasn't soft and luscious, lusty and voracious or sexually explorative. Instead, after all the blogosphere build-up about the big lesbian kiss, all we got was tensionless, dead-eyed, canned eroticism.

9. The Entire Season of The Bachelor with Jason Mesnick
Jason made out with almost every potential bachlorette, even the stalker-y Shannon's snot-slicked lips after crying her crazy tears. The hot tub scene with Jillian felt slimy instead of steamy and matronly widow Stephanie's Oedipal pecks were downright creepy. I mean, did she think she was baptizing him? Needless to say, makeout quantity did not equal quality for Jason. The Hot Dog Theory Of Man

10. The Gossip Girl Threesome
We knew that three of our favorite Gossip Girl characters would be getting it on at some point this past season, but it was a complete shocker when the show's three most boring characters, Dan, Vanessa, and Olivia (Hilary Duff), eventually did the deed. And despite the season-long hype over a coed ménage a trois, the actual scene was actually quite tame—boring, even. We assume the CW was keeping the concerns of parents in mind, for a change. Threesomes: A User's Guide

Read more Best of 2009 lists:

Top 10 Sex Scenes Of 2009
The 10 Most Fascinating On-Screen Couples Of 2009
Top 5 Breakup Books Of 2009
Top 5 Chick Lit Books Of 2009
Top 10 Breakup Songs Of 2009
Top 10 Single Lady Songs Of 2009

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