How in hell did I get here without even realizing it? Did it happen when he called me an idiot too many times? How about when he chose to be out of town for work when I had to go through major surgery by myself? How about the too many times when he broke pieces of furniture? Is it when he made our children cry by calling them all kinds of unkind names and made them feel unwelcome? Could it have been resentment because he never took care of me or cared when I was ill or down? Maybe it was when he started an argument over inconsequential things just so he could take out his stress and anger out on me and the kids. Hmmm, I wonder if the shit hit the fan when he cussed me out for saving his life, doing vigil by his hospital bed and washing his ass? Maybe I should have let him die like he wanted.