50 Little Things That Instantly Kill Intimacy

Have fun without killing the mood.

Last updated on May 20, 2024

Things You Should NEVER Do Or Say During Sex DavideAngelini | Shutterstock

Sex should feel fun, free, real, and raw. But, some feel pressured to act and look in a certain way. Either that or they let their crass and inappropriate side out.

Here are 50 things that instantly kill intimacy:

1. Answer the phone

You'd be shocked to know how many people do this. I get it might be an "emergency," or "business," but take care of this business before you attend to that bedroom business. #priorities.


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2. Check a text

3. Check your watch

4. Say, "Hurry it up."

There are nicer ways to get them to finish without killing the mood.

5. Say, "Can we just get this over with?"

You might think it but don't say it. Instead, say in a sexy way, "How about a quickie?"


6. Blow your nose

7. Pick your nose.

8. Hock a loogie.

9. Fart intentionally

10. Burp intentionally

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11. Mention your mom or dad

While we're on the subject, you might also want to remove photos of your parents from your nightstand.

12. Mention their same-sex sibling

You know, the hotter, younger, more successful one.


13. Point out their flaws

14. Tell them they are doing it "wrong"

There are ways to get what you want in bed without being critical.

15. Mention your ex

16. Yawn

Yawn and check watch are things you should never do in the bedroom StoryTime Studio via Shutterstock

17. Pop their pimple

I know, sometimes their back, chest, or shoulder acne is begging for you to pop it. Don't. It will kill the mood. Also, it's gross.


18. Scream and pump your fist like you just scored a touchdown

That being said, if your partner does exactly that during orgasm, don't make fun of them. Putting someone down while they are in their moment of pleasure and ultimate vulnerability runs the risk of emotionally shutting them down. Never edit someone's expression of orgasmic vulnerability.

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19. Call them the wrong name

Especially when with a new partner, I know it's easy to revert to the name of your last love. If you can't remember their name, just call them "baby."

20. Take a selfie

I get that you want to document the moment, but you're with a super hot, interesting, catch of a person, Maybe it's just the fact you're with someone (and it's been a long time). Refrain from succumbing to the sex selfie and instead savor the moment by taking a mental picture.


21. Say, "I love you," for the first time

You feel this surge of emotion unlike any you've felt in a while. In your orgasmic state, you feel love but don't say it. Timing is everything, and this isn't the time.

22. Say, "Let's make a baby"

When you've never had a conversation about becoming parents before, this is a bad time to bring it up.


Only the lady’s can relate like and comment if you can relate lady’s 🤣🤦‍♀️

♬ original sound - brady 🚀

23. Mention they are much better than the person you were with last week

24. Baby talk

25. Fake an orgasm

26. Pet your animal

If your dog or cat is wondering what's going on in the bed, try to ignore your pup. It's probably a good idea to take your best friend out of the room.


27. Nothing

I mean, you don't move and you don't moan; you just lay there. This is dead fish syndrome and it's not sexy. If you want to have good sex, then get into it. Move!

Couple in bedroom ignore each other Diego Cervo via Shutterstock

28. Imagine you're in Cirque du Soleil

You're having sex, it's not a circus act. You don't need super flexibility, to contort your body into a series of wild positions, or perform. Just do what feels good.


29. Ask if you're as good as their ex

There is no one else at this moment but you two. By bringing up their ex, you are appearing super insecure and that is seriously unsexy.

30. Hide your body because you think you "look fat in that position"

RELATED: Want A Healthy Relationship? Stop Making It "All About Him"

31. Refuse to try a new position because you think it's unflattering.

Women who are the best in bed let themselves just be themselves, without freaking out about how their body looks or editing positions. Don't be self-conscious. Just be.

32. Apologize for being so bad

@_spicycounselor And unless you’re having pain or bleeding, I can almost guarantee nothing is wrong with you. You might be responding correctly in dismal circumstances. It’s not only your partner’s job to notice- speak up! #fypシ #sensuality #relationships#couples #therapytiktok #counselor ♬ Conceited - Flo Milli

33. Point out your flaws

34. Pull a snack out of the bedside table

You might feel hungry, especially during marathon sex sessions, but sneaking a snack is not appropriate right now.


35. Say, "You know that I'm only sleeping with you because (enter reason here)"

Even if you truly are only sleeping with them because they're rich, famous, a rebound, or because they said the right thing at the right time, this is not the right time to say that.

36. Tell them your ex was better at that

If you're thinking about your ex while having sex, maybe you're not ready to have sex with someone new.

@awakeningwithbrian If you were constantly comparing your partner to your ex’s or a fantasy, perfect partner, this is a trauma response that you can heal by doing the deep inner work.##relationshipadvice##relationships ♬ original sound - Brian - Transformational Coach

37. Say, "You really should start working out again"

38. Say, "Oh crap, I forgot to RSVP to that party tomorrow night"

Or anything else that shows your mind is elsewhere.


39. Say, "When we finish this, we need to talk about something"

Well, that just killed the mood.

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40. Be silent

One of the sexiest things you can do while having sex is dirty talk. Or, at least moan. Let them know they're doing a great job and you feel so good.

41. Say, "Please don't be so loud this time" right after they say, "I'm going to cum"

42. Take notes

If you did something they liked in particular and you want to make sure to remember it for next time, don't note it at the moment. Take a mental note and write it down later.

43. Tell them they should consider using more deodorant



44. Start laughing

Unless, of course, they do something that truly tickles you. But, laughing because you're nervous, insecure, or uncomfortable is not okay.

45. Talk about your post-sex to-do list

Despite this fact, many women go over it in their minds while mid-sex.

46. Say, "I prefer having sex with you when I'm drunk"

I have heard some people say the true test to determine if someone is into you, is if they show the same excitement when they are sober and drunk.

47. Say, "That Sex and the City" episode was right

This is some funky-tasting spunk. Yes, I am talking about oral sex. I am sure you have seen the episode. If not, it's worth watching, but not worth repeating.


48. Say with a sigh, "They don't call this a job for nothing"

49. Say, "Hurry up. My boyfriend/girlfriend is coming home soon"

@deralynnellis What NOT to do during seggs should be a given but you’d be surprised how many people are guilty of doing these things 🙄 #seggseducation #marriedlife #couplestiktok #seggs #marriagetips ♬ Sensual Seduction - Snoop Dogg

50. Breakup

That's just sad, inappropriate, and inconsiderate. But, it happens. I have heard too many stories about it. If you're ready to end it and this is your last hurrah, wait for the final goodbye until at least a few days later.

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Laurel House is an international celebrity dating and relationship coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” and a writer who has appeared in Oprah, Vogue, The Washington Post, and 500 other media outlets.