8 Immediate Signs It's Time To Drop Him

Photo: Cameron Prins / Shutterstock
unhappy couple sitting apart on couch

It's time to finally admit that this relationship isn't working. Your fantasies of a perfect happily ever after are never coming true.

How can you tell if it's the right time to break up? Any woman who has ever had a breakup will tell you that she "knew." Sometimes, she knew weeks or even months before she finally had "the conversation."

The problem with waiting too long is that in those extra months, you may develop resentment, anger, or even hatred, or you could simply shut down. You finally arrive at a place where you know that you have to do it.

One of the markers is "I miss your smile, but I miss mine more."

How do you honor your own intuition and not linger so long that the relationship (and the mounting resentment) become damaging?

Trust yourself. You know when you're making excuses and settling for less than you deserve. It's time for courage. It's time to choose to honor yourself and your intuition.

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Here are eight immediate signs it's time to drop him:

1. You don't like who you are when you are with him

You used to feel confident, full of energy, and ready to take on the world. Lately, though, you've begun to experience self-doubt and unusual feelings of despair. It's not like you, and you don't like it.

2. You stop showing your best self

You always knew who you were and how to show your best "face" to the world, but now you're finding it more difficult to care how others perceive you.

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3. You stop putting energy into your appearance

It used to matter if you wore the "right" top or carried the "right" handbag. Now, you barely even shave or wear makeup in public. And not because you feel comfortable, but because you just don't care how you look anymore.

4. You're making excuses for him

Your friends have noticed that he doesn't treat you as well as he used to, or that you don't speak of him with the same enthusiasm. Yet, rather than acknowledge any issues, you deflect by telling them he's having a tough time at work or the political situation in the world is weighing on his mind. Really, though, those are thin excuses — you know it, and so do your friends. 

5. You feel like you are settling for less than you deserve

You never used to let discontentment bother you, but now you find yourself asking that deadly question, "Is this all there is?"

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6. You don't want to touch him

Even being in the same room with him is uncomfortable.

7. You actively avoid physical intimacy

If you don't want to touch him, you surely don't want to have sex or even kiss him.

8. Everything and everyone else is more important than spending time with him

You've always prioritized your friends and family in addition to your romantic relationship, but now the latter seems insubstantial compared to the lifelong bonds you've forged with your parents, siblings, and friends. The shift is real and obvious, and you no longer can be bothered to hide it. It is almost certainly time to say goodbye.

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Laurel House is an international celebrity dating and relationship coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” and writer who has appeared in Oprah, Vogue, The Washington Post, and 500 other media outlets.