Woman Shares Texts She Received From Her Ex A Decade After They Broke Up Asking Her To ‘Show A Little Mercy’
Does he deserve a second chance?
gpointstudio / Shutterstock After a breakup, there are really only two paths: you move on, or you don't. If you don't, it's a bumpy road. You're stuck replaying memories, and all it takes is a sad night for you to think, "I should text them." But what if the ex you are texting doesn't want to reconnect? What if the breakup was the best thing that could have happened for them? Case in point: a woman on Reddit who, after finding the courage to break up with a toxic boyfriend, was left dealing with manipulative texts from him ten years after their relationship ended.
A woman shared the concerning texts she received from an ex a decade after the relationship ended.
Turning to Reddit for advice, a woman named Tiff shared that while she had no intention or interest in rekindling any kind of relationship, let alone friendship, with her ex, she was torn on whether or not she should respond to his texts.“Tiff?” he wrote. “If this is your number. I still think about you. Sorry for bugging if it's the wrong number.” The woman replied, asking who it was, explaining she had lost all her contacts a couple of years ago.
The man responded that he didn’t expect her to reply and wasn’t expecting her to talk to him. After revealing his identity, he went on to apologize for how he acted all those years ago. “You were the one good thing that ever happened in my life,” he wrote. “But I always turn away from my blessings for some reason.”
Reddit
The ex-boyfriend claimed that all he wanted was to talk. He said he had stories from the past years and wanted to hear about hers too. When she didn’t respond, he followed up: “So, how have you been?” Still nothing. Then, two days later, he texted one more time.
“I guess I was deluding myself,” he wrote, “when I thought that maybe after over 10 years you would show a little mercy and at least say, ‘Hi, how’ve you been?’” He explained he had been in a dark place when they were together and said he hoped she would let him talk to her again.
So far, it sounded like a guy who made some mistakes and maybe deserved a conversation, right? Not so much. Turns out not much had actually changed from the past, and he did not spend the last 10 years working on himself.
The ex's texts became progressively more manipulative.
When Tiff didn't respond, instead of simply wishing her well and moving on he tried to guilt her into conversation. He wrote, "I guess I was deluding myself when I thought that Maybe...after over 10 years youd show a little mercy and at least say hi how you been. I just wanted to talk to someone who knew who I used to be."
Yeah, not cool. He must have realized his mistake because he changed his tune a bit, trying to issue an apology for his past deeds and what must have been an incredibly ugly breakup.
Reddit
He continued, "I cant forgive myself but I hope someday youl be able to forgive me for messing up what could have been a good future together. It was my fault."
Separate from his texts, Tiff wrote in her post, “He was a mean alcoholic, who I later found out was also on meth.” The last time she saw him, she said, he had his hand around her throat, threatening to kill her. This is the guy asking for mercy, by the way. “I finally worked up the courage to leave him after that,” she added.
She explained that she had to block his number after the terrifying threats and disturbing messages he would send her back then. And yet still, he got to her. She wrote, "I'm trying to decide if I should answer at all or just keep ignoring him. What would you do?"
The control of an abusive partner can last long after even the relationship ends.
Needless to say, commenters were adamant that Tiff should not respond to her ex, and for good reason. As one user wrote, "He's using manipulative language to get you to respond to him. You have absolutely no justifiable reason to respond to him if that's what's going through your head right now. You don't know if he has truly changed, and even if he has, that man has tried to end your life once, so why would you even CONSIDER responding to him? Put your safety first and block him."
According to Solace, it seemed like Tiff's ex was using a common control technique called lovebombing to get a reaction out of her. He was obviously angry that she didn't respond initially, and when that didn't go the way he wanted, he turned to flattery and self-deprication to manipulate and control the situation. Sadly, it almost worked. She was obviously considering reaching out to him.
As another commenter noted, "the apology got completely invalidated in my book because of his persistence afterward. not to mention the manipulative tone of it all. nobody who was truly sorry would be pestering you like that after saying their piece. there’s some obvious ulterior motives at play."
While we all hope that Tiff is steadfast and chooses to ignore these texts and block her ex, ultimately, the decision is up to her. And sadly, her experiences aren't uncommon. Today, nearly 5.3 million incidents of domestic violence happen to women aged 18 and older in the U.S., which leads to around 1,300 deaths and 2 million injuries every single year. More than three women are killed by their partners every day. And to top it off, a woman is beaten every 9 seconds. How long did it take you to read this article?
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or the threat of domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or go to www.thehotline.org
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
