Self

Why You Shouldn't Forget To Check In On Your Strong Friend

Photo: Kaspars Grinvalds / Shutterstock 
woman comforting sad friend

By Emma Spear

We all have that strong friend.

They’re the person who has gone through hell and manages to come back with a smile on their face. They’re the person who is there for everyone with a hug, and the most amazing advice you could ever ask for.

They are there for us at our highest points, and they are there for us at our lowest. And, of course, they support us with every stupid decision that we make along the way.

Let’s face it, if we didn’t have this friend in our lives, we would be pretty lost.

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We don’t even realize how much of an impact this friend has on us until we need someone to listen to what we have to say.

We fail to realize how much we value them and this needs to change, because these individuals come with support and kindness that you will never be able to find in anyone else.

You will never find someone that makes you smile as much as this person, or who makes you laugh as hard.

And that’s because they understand what it feels like to grow through pain, and what it feels like to break into millions of pieces.

They will never judge you for how you’re feeling, or the situation that you’re going through. You won’t ever hear them complain that you’re venting to them for the third time this week.

And that’s because they get it, they’ve been there.

They may not have been in your exact situation, but please believe me, they understand where you’re coming from, and what pain feels like.

The tears that you hold back in front of others, and have hidden with a smile, the breakdowns that you’ve had while sitting on the floor in your bathroom.

They’ve been there, they’ve done that. They understand that pain and they don’t want you to feel it.

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But you want to know something about this strong friend?

The thing with strong friends is that they spend so much time caring about others and listening that they fail to realize that they have their own problems, and they need someone to support them when they feel that they are at their lowest.

These friends are the ones who cry themselves to sleep some nights. They’re the people who walk through the hallways or streets with smiles on their faces but have tears filling up their eyes.

But you probably won’t ever know this or realize this because they don’t want you to know.

They don’t want you to see that side of them, they don’t want you to see them being vulnerable.

They’re the strong friend for a reason, and once you see that vulnerable, hurt side of them, they feel as if they’ve let you down, because they’re not being strong, and that’s the role that they are known for.

Please understand if a strong friend ever breakdowns in front of you, they are truly hurting. They need your love and compassion. Honestly, just do what they would do for you.

Hug them, make them laugh, and just sit and let them cry on your shoulder until they get through it. Ask them how they’re doing, see if they want to get a cup of coffee, and chat for a bit about life.

You never know when they need someone to be strong for them.

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Emma Spear is a student, paraeducator, writer, and contributor to Unwritten. She has a passion for writing about mental health, self-care, and education.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.