By Mehruba Chowdhury — Written on Feb 24, 2019
When it comes to friendship, there is always room for improvement.
Most of us grow up believing that we already know how to be a friend and many of us are right. But life can get in the way and suddenly, you're sitting there wondering why you and a close friend are so distant now. It happens, and although it's not always your fault, you were a bad friend.
Has a friend ever been disappointed in you? Did you know the reason? What did you do to make it better, or improve yourself in light of the situation? These are important questions we need to ask ourselves in order to learn to build stronger relationships, especially friendships.
Becoming a better friend is not as difficult as you might think. Like all relationships, friendships require effort. If you notice you've been slacking in the friend department, it's time to put in some overtime on your friendships and be a better buddy to the ones you care about.
Here are four simple ways to become a better friend.
1. Show up.
If you heard that your friend was in an accident or is going through a bad break up, this is the time to be there for them. Show up and try to lift their spirits. Your presence will show them that you care and want to help them through whatever situation they are in.
On the other hand, they could be celebrating a new relationship or job promotion. This is another kind of occasion where your presence is paramount! If nothing else, you will definitely make them feel supported by going out of your way to be with them, which is something that will deepen your bond.
2. Express your gratitude.
Did your friend do something nice for you recently, like showing up at your place with food and drinks to make you feel better after a rough day or help you clean your apartment? Thank them! It can be something as simple as lending you their ear, which we too often take for granted from our friends. For all these and many other reasons, show your gratitude to them. Don’t forget to show immediate acknowledgment and vocalize your appreciation cause these things really matter a lot!
3. Maintain balance.
Friendship is a two-way street and it's important to do your part. This can be hard for those who always know how to be there for their friends but somehow don’t know how to ask the favor in return but friendships can easily become toxic if there is an imbalance in the way two people give to each other.
Figure out if your friend is always the one who listens to your rants and not the other way around. If that’s so, make it a point to ask them about their day, work and relationship troubles before you start discussing yours. This way, it's not all about you and your friend can feel appreciated and loved.
4. Don’t judge.
Judging your friend is the fastest way to alienate them. Instead, try to be more empathetic and see things from their point of view. Why did they do something? What led them to do that?
Having more empathy can help you understand where they are coming from and make them feel like you are willing to hear their side of the story. They'll certainly appreciate you effort.
Mehruba Chowdhury is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.
