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People just can't seem to take their eyes off of you.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Apr 19, 2023
When I was a child, staring at people was a big no-no. Not only is it considered rude, but a person staring at you feels uncomfortable and awkward. If you happen to walk into a room and notice someone staring, it can create a feeling of uneasiness, putting you on pins and needles.
But all staring is not received in the same way. Friends and family that gaze at you might be less jarring than it is when strangers stare.
If you’re minding your own business and suddenly notice people staring at you in public, there might be a number of reasons why you could have caught people’s attention and, believe it or not, context matters.
Why do people stare at me?
Staring is a complicated thing. One of the obvious reasons someone might not be able to look away from you is that they are attracted to you and want to catch your attention by making eye contact. Or maybe you are doing or wearing something to draw attention to yourself and, as expected, people aren’t able to ignore it.
There are logical reasons for people to stare, too. A 2018 study conducted by Hannah Scott from the University of London found that people sometimes stare because the eyes give them non-verbal hints about a person’s mental state. They have “socially relevant information.” So, if you happen to find people staring, it may be a simple attempt at communicating.
Looking a person in the eye is almost as powerful as speaking to them, but there are people who don’t feel comfortable with prolonged eye contact. When we focus on others, a whopping 43% of the attention we give is dedicated to staring into their eyes. Those extended looks and the physical reactions to them can make the difference between appearing confident and coming across as weak.
Knowing that there are several reasons people might be staring at you might lead to you feeling comfortable under the watchful gaze of strangers. Here are the reasons people tend to stare at you when you’re out and about.
15 Reasons People Tend To Stare At You
1. They think you're beautiful.
Who doesn’t love to feast their eyes on a gorgeous person? That person who can’t seem to stop staring could be attracted to you. Perhaps it’s your perfect face or your physique, but there is just something about you that is alluring to them.
As TikToker and intuitive coach Teona Douglas explains, they see your light and just want a piece of it.
2. They are putting a face to the name.
People who have heard about you before you’ve ever met them have a tendency to stare at you in an effort to see if the rumors are true. They might even be trying to confirm in their own mind that you are the person that has had everyone’s tongues wagging.
3. They see you and want to be you.
Imitation is the best form of flattery. Someone who admires you might be watching you carefully to pick up on your style and influence. They are saving everything they noticed about you to their database to emulate later on. You have an admirer.
4. They can feel your confidence.
Confident people pull others' eyes to them like a magnet, and they don’t mind. Everyone wants to exude an air of self-assuredness, and when they see someone that embodies it, they stare in either disbelief, jealousy, or appreciation.
5. They are judging you.
Everyone has their own perspective and expectations about what is appropriate behavior to exhibit in public. That uncomfortable stare might actually be a couple of judging eyes, watching your every move and assessing you to decide if you are acceptable or not.
6. You have something on your face.
Sometimes that feeling that you have food stuck in your teeth or crumbs on your face is on point. People may not know if it is okay to approach you or be apprehensive about embarrassing you. A quick peek in the mirror can tell you if those subtle stares were a sign from the personal hygiene gods.
7. You have an undeniable style.
Your style is an extension of your unique personality. If yours is impressive, it is only natural that people will divert their eyes and take in the awesome specimen that is you. On the other hand, you might be too flashy and people might find your style unappealing.
8. They want you to look at them.
There are times when people stare at you until you look up and make eye contact. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you just know someone is looking in your direction. You look around and, just like you thought, their eyes meet yours.
9. You're interesting.
Like with a good movie or a train wreck, people stare at things they find interesting or entertaining. Something about you makes them want to see what you will do next. It could be your style, your beauty, or your personality. Whatever it is, they are hooked and can’t even hide it.
10. You look familiar.
Everyone has run into someone that they were certain they knew from somewhere. Perhaps you took a long look at them, uncertain of whether it was the person you were familiar with or not. People will stare at you because they think they recognize your features and are trying to confirm your identity.
11. They are looking through you.
One of the most embarrassing things to do is assume someone is staring at you when they just happen to be facing your direction while daydreaming. A third of our waking hours are spent doing just that, so that person you think is enamored by you may not be thinking about you at all.
12. You stand out in the crowd.
If you look different from everyone around you, people will naturally notice. Maybe you are a woman in a sea of men or a child in a room full of adults. If something about you sets you apart from everyone else, expect people to take notice.
13. They don’t know how to approach you.
A person that is not completely comfortable with initiating conversation might not know how to approach you. Maybe they have some interesting news to deliver or simply want to introduce themselves, so they are staring to figure out how they can best make their way over to you.
14. You’re doing too much.
You can’t run into a crowd and start screaming at the top of your lungs then wonder why people won’t stop staring. If you make a scene, you should fully expect everyone within earshot to turn around to see who in the world is acting so obnoxiously.
15. You don’t belong.
There are places where you might be unwelcome or unexpected. For instance, showing up to an event that is invite-only when you were never invited will definitely cause people to stare and even accost you. With people collectively losing their minds these days, we are being more aware of our surroundings and people who stick out like a sore thumb.
What do you do when people stare at you?
The best thing to do when people stare at you is to simply ignore them. But if you’re feeling especially adventurous, walk over and introduce yourself to see if there is a reason they have taken notice of you.
If the person seems dangerous or creepy and makes you uncomfortable, stay around other people and let someone know you don’t feel safe.
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NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.