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Why Calling Yourself A 'Girl's Girl' Might Actually Be A Red Flag

Photo: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
mean girls gossiping about another woman

When a woman describes herself as a “girl’s girl,” it signifies that she is supportive, empathetic, and friendly toward other women. She values female friendships and actively cultivates positive relationships with other women. At least that's what it's supposed to mean. 

However, one woman online warned others to avoid those who proudly claim to be a girl's girl, as they are often other women's biggest haters behind closed doors. 

The woman claimed any woman who calls herself a girl’s girl is actually a mean girl.

In a TikTok that has been viewed over 500,000 times, Mila Jaye explained why she steers clear of women who describe themselves in this way. 

“Any girl I’ve ever met who has labeled themselves as a ‘girl’s girl, I love all girls’ is one of the shadiest [expletives] I’ve ever met,” she shared.    

   

   

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Mila claimed that women who preach to everyone around them how much they love and support their fellow women are usually the ones to stab them in the back later on. The whole girl’s girl charade is a facade and only what they demonstrate on the surface to others. 

“Behind your back, those are the girls who are actually talking [crap] about you, talking [crap] about your relationship, talking [crap] about how you look,” Mila said. 

“I wholeheartedly believe that if you are someone who is a nice girl, if you’re a nice human, number one you’re gonna be nice to everyone regardless if they’re a girl or a guy," she continued. "You don’t have to preach it to the end of the earth.” 

She insisted that actions speak louder than words, and those who truly are girl’s girls support fellow women without bragging about doing so. 

“Honestly, this whole girl’s girl energy just screams mean girl energy,” she argued. “Just support women.” 

   

   

Mila also claimed that genuine girl’s girls will extend their support and kindness to everyone, regardless of their gender. 

“I’d rather be known as just a nice person that loves and respects my friends, but also loves and respects anyone and everyone who treats me with respect,” she said. 

Others online agreed with Mila’s claims, sharing their own horrid experiences with those who call themselves girl’s girls.

“The first time I heard the phrase was on Big Brother," one TikTok user commented. "There was an alliance of mean girls who called themselves the girl’s girls.”

   

   

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“Everyone I know who has called themselves a girl’s girl in high school is a mean girl,” another user shared. 

Many people also confirmed that legitimate girl’s girls will not have to constantly remind others that they support women.

"A true girls girl would NEVER go around telling everyone that she’s a girl's girl," a third user pointed out.

"And the self-proclaimed girl's girl will call you a pick me if you ever disagree with anything they say," another commenter wrote.

Some women who claim to be girl’s girls may secretly resent other women and engage in catty behavior due to various social, psychological, and cultural factors. Others may feel pressure to compete with one another for social status, attention, or validation. This competition can sometimes lead to negative behaviors such as gossiping, backstabbing, or exclusion.

Why Calling Yourself A Girl's Girl Might Actually Be A Red FlagPhoto: MDV Edwards / Shutterstock

Women’s insecurities about themselves may also manifest in petty behavior as a way to assert dominance or feel better about themselves.

It is important to address their behavior with empathy and understanding, recognizing that it may stem from complex underlying factors. 

Existing as a woman today is difficult enough. Instead of dragging each other down, we should strive to support one another and lift each other up. 

Society often pits women against each other and perpetuates harmful stereotypes about female competition and rivalry. When women challenge these stereotypes and support each other, they contribute to the collective progress and advancement of women as a whole. 

Why Calling Yourself A Girl's Girl Might Actually Be A Red FlagPhoto: Tint Media / Shutterstock

By working together and lifting each other up, women can break down barriers, shatter glass ceilings, and create a more equitable and inclusive society for future generations.

It is easy to forget that as women, many of us encounter the same struggles, no matter where we come from or how we look. Recognizing this and discovering the common ground we have with one another will only strengthen our bonds, promote empowerment, and contribute to a more positive and inclusive world for women everywhere, where we can all support one another as true girl’s girls.

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.