5 Ways To Own The Room As Soon As You Walk In

You’ll be surprised at how you’ll start attracting people just by feeling sexier in your skin.

Last updated on Nov 04, 2023

Woman transforming her wardrobe Maridav, Omoda  | Canva 

When we aren’t in a relationship, we often don’t dress as if our dream lover were picking us up for dinner. Let’s face it. It’s easy to get lazy and end up in a rut.

You can’t remember your last kiss. You’ve slacked off on self-care since your previous relationship ended. You've started to care less about your appearance. Your favorite dress never made it to the dry cleaner and still has a spot on the side from the night you spilled red wine on it. The last time you got waxed was when someone detailed your car a year ago.


The truth is, you probably don't feel sexy in your skin like you used to.

Sound familiar? My advice is simple. Start creating rituals at home that will prepare you to feel great about yourself. You can create a sexier new you who feels great in her skin before having a crush on someone special. You’ll be surprised at how you’ll start attracting people just by feeling sexier in your skin.

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Here are 5 ways to own the room as soon as you walk in:

1. Toss out the old.

Toss away a few pieces of old lingerie that are cluttering your bureau. Do this right away. It’s time to erase the memories of your past passionate affairs. Out with the old and in with the new.

2. Treat yourself to something new.

Invest in one new piece of lingerie. Find a great sale, or go online and select one that fits your budget. Pick out your favorite color.

Think of your new purchase as your favorite little black dress. Before you imagine wearing it with your new dream guy someday, wear it for yourself first. For now, wear this to sleep in at least once a week. You’re on your way to a sexier new you.



3. Develop a new look.

Take a look in your makeup drawer. When was the last time you invested in a lip gloss? Toss away the old makeup and head over to your local department store. Walk around the cosmetics department and find a comfy stool to sit on. Get ready for a free makeover.

Imagine yourself going on a date while your makeup is being professionally applied. The date night is with your number one fan, yourself. Make sure to get a list of the colors and pick up one item. Replace your outdated lip gloss with a new color for the season. There’s something very sexy about luscious lips, and it’s time! Your lips are made for kissing.

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4. Set the stage.

Back at the ranch, it’s time to set the scene in your romantic bedroom. Put away the photos of your family and friends. Move your computer to another room in the house.


You’ll be creating a romantic atmosphere and will leave the boardroom behind. Light some candles. Put on some relaxing music, and grab some massage oil.

Give yourself a well-deserved foot massage, then curl up with a romance novel.

5. Relax — you've earned it.

On the following week, change the ritual slightly, and if you have a bathtub in your house or apartment, take a bubble bath. Light your candles and have the music going in the background. Put on your new sexy signature lingerie afterward and fall asleep in dreamland. You’ll wake up every morning and start to feel sexier just from creating these rituals.

Now, it’s time to practice the art of flirting. I’ve been flirting since my first crush when I was four years old. It never goes out of style. You’ll appear happier, more confident, more approachable, and there is nothing sexier than a confident woman to attract quality people. You’ll walk into a room, and people will wonder, “Who’s that?”


I have practiced these steps, and I know they work. With very little investment other than one piece of new lingerie and a lip gloss, you will notice a shift in your attitude. I can’t tell you how often I have felt better going to sleep just by lighting a few candles and reading an uplifting book or story, then falling asleep wearing my signature lingerie. You’re now on your way to creating a sexier new you.

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Julie Spira is a proud and dedicated award-winning dating coach, online dating and mobile dating expert, and internationally-known bestselling author. Who has appeared on popular apps, including Bumble, eHarmony, JDate, JWed, Match, Our Time, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Zoosk