6 Unusual Ways To Exude Confidence That Men Find Attractive, According To Experts

Photo: Lance Reis | Unsplash
Woman radiating confidence

We were sitting and chatting in a restaurant when a couple walked in the door. We were the only diners at the time, the restaurant was empty except for us, the proprietors, and now this couple who quietly filled the room with their energy. They are the people who draw your attention immediately. You feel their presence in the space more than you see or hear it. They are a perfect example of cool confidence.

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Here are 6 unusual ways to exude confidence that people find attractive, according to YourTango experts:

1. Use your body language to speak louder

Your body language signals whether you are confident or not before you open your mouth. When meeting people, try to stand straight, shoulders back a little, chin raised and arms relaxed at your sides. Also, note that confident people aren't afraid to look into your eyes or offer a handshake if you approach them.

Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., Therapist



2. Avoid over-introducing yourself

People don't need to hear your life story or occupation in the first five minutes after the meeting. Instead, ask them some non-threatening questions (how are you? What brings you here? etc.) to get them talking. People would rather that you take an interest in them than try to prove your value — or hold something over them! By showing interest in them, you convey that you don't feel you have to impress them first, and that in itself is impressive.

— Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., Therapist

3. Be open to learning and asking for help

When someone is open to learning they are saying, "I'm not threatened that you know something I don't, I'm curious. Tell me so I can discover that too and enrich my life. And while we're at it, I will validate you by listening and absorbing what you know."

Ann Naimark, marriage and family therapist

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small group confident people

Photo: Jacob Lund via Shutterstock

4. Don't boast

An underappreciated way to exude confidence is to avoid boasting entirely, in favor of non-verbal communication, such as warm gazes and eye contact that shows interest.

Ruth Schimel PhD, Career & Life Mgt. Consultant, Author

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5. Let go of needing to know

The greatest destroyer of in-the-moment joy is wishing you knew what was coming down the pipes. No one knows, so stop thinking you’re any different. Confidence arises without effort when you accept uncertainty. When you’re uptight about needing to know, the last thing you’ll be is confident.

Alex Mathers, coach, writer, and illustrator

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6. Hone sharp listening skills

An unusual way to exude confidence that people often find attractive is through active listening. It’s quite unexpected but powerful. When you listen attentively, ask thoughtful questions, and show genuine interest in what others are saying, it demonstrates self-assuredness, empathy, and respect for others, all of which are attractive traits.

Erika Jordan, Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

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Sending out a signal of confidence to friends and strangers doesn't have to be a long process of self-improvement and overthinking. Nope, all you need is a bit of self-control so you don't over-share too soon while letting your body do most of the talking. Ask inviting questions, listen carefully, and respond with ease. When you know why you are there and are sure of who you are, you will own the room with cool confidence and a knowing charm.

Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.