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Self-Described 'Trad Wife' Did Things The Old-Fashioned Way And Nearly Ruined Her Marriage

Photo: Motortion Films / Shutterstock 
woman crying into her hands surrounded by laundry

A woman who opted to be a traditional homemaker when she got married never could have anticipated just how difficult the role would be on her and her family. 

She explained that over time, her duties became overwhelming for her and that it nearly destroyed her marriage. 

Now, she does things in a much easier and simpler way and reveals why she will never go back to her old ways. 

The self-described former ‘trad wife’ said that her old-fashioned lifestyle made it nearly impossible for her to get things done around the house. 

The term "trad wife" is an abbreviation for “traditional wife,” referring to women who adhere to traditional gender roles and expectations within marriage and family life. These roles often include prioritizing household and childcare duties, supporting her husband's career or endeavors, and upholding traditional values and virtues such as loyalty, obedience, and nurturing. 

Trad wives do not work outside the home and are generally loud and proud about being homemakers. 

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One woman who calls herself “SmallTownLady” on social media revealed that when she got married, she took on the trad wife life. While she still believes that it is not “inherently bad” if women want to partake in the lifestyle, she shared how being a trad wife nearly destroyed her well-being and her marriage. 

   

   

“The way it was advertised to me was not exactly how it turned out,” she said in a TikTok video. 

SmallTownLady revealed that she did all of the cooking, cleaning, and minding the children much like traditional stay-at-home wives and mothers do. However, her role was significantly more challenging than most as she decided to really do things the old-fashioned way. 

She washed all of the dishes by hand since she didn’t own a dishwasher, used cloth diapers for her children, sewed her own clothes, and grew her own food. 

“This would have been simple living if I lived in the 1800s,” she said. “But what it ended up being was the easiest way to make my chores take ten times longer than they normally would.” 

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Since the woman’s domestic duties were so time-consuming, she barely had any time to spend with her family. 

“My husband would come home from really long shifts at work and after dinner, I would end up spending 30 minutes doing the dishes,” she shared. “We got no time to spend together and we became really resentful of each other.” 

Trad Wife Did Things The Old-Fashioned Way And Nearly Ruined Her MarriagePhoto: Sarah Chai / Canva Pro

In order to save her marriage and lighten the load on herself, the woman opted to start doing her chores with modern-day technologies — and thankfully, they made her life a lot easier. She now uses a dishwasher to wash the dishes and a washer and dryer machine to do the laundry instead of doing everything by hand. 

“I have a lot more time with my kids and husband and I think that’s what matters,” she said. 

While the woman explained that her life as a stay-at-home wife and mother is much simpler now, she still and always will have a garden that she is proud to tend to! 

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Other women who used to be trad wives shared similar experiences. 

“Same same same. We became resentful. I always was asking for help on his days off. Always had dishes to do,” one TikTok user commented. 

Trad Wife Did Things The Old-Fashioned Way And Nearly Ruined Her MarriagePhoto: George Doyle  / Canva Pro

“Lived for years with no dishwasher. After having a second kid it was a requirement! I think we can be traditional in a more modern way,” another user shared. 

SmallTownLady revealed in the comments that she was inspired to be a trad wife by other social media influencers, claiming that they made the lifestyle appear “peaceful and meaningful.” 

Choosing a traditional stay-at-home role does not mean you have to reject modern amenities.

While there is nothing wrong with women who choose to stay home and take care of their households and families if they can do so, why make life more difficult by resorting to living in old-fashioned ways?  In the 21st century, our technology is advanced enough that we do not have to spend hours washing our clothes and dishes. Cooking dinner does not have to be an all-day project thanks to modern-day stoves. 

In order to be a modern-day housewife, you do not need to go to extraordinary lengths to replicate the homestead lifestyle

Taking care of the kids and house all day is hard enough. It won’t hurt to make life a little easier by utilizing the dishwasher and microwave to get things done more efficiently. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.