8 Tiny Habits Of The Chillest People In The World
Maybe taking a chill pill actually works?
Kinga Howard | Unsplash I have to admit, I’ve spent a pretty sizeable chunk of my life worrying about stuff I could have left alone.
I’ve learned much over the years about the most relaxed people I know.
I combined my fascination for human behavior and my curiosity for living a calmer, more relaxed life.
Here are 8 tiny habits of the chillest people in the world:
1. They own their insecurities.
There’s no better way to develop unnecessary anxiety than by succumbing to the false idea that you have ‘insecurities’ that need hiding.
If we believe the idea that something’s ‘wrong’ with us, this is judgemental. This puts us under a lot of pressure — the exact opposite of calm.
Calm people accept their limitations, work on the things they can change, and let go of the idea that there’s nothing wrong.
Yes — it is a case of letting go and developing the healthy habit of not continually berating ourselves for not being who we think we ‘should’ be.
2. They don't rush.
Simple shifts in outward behavior have an enormous impact on how we feel and think of ourselves.
Chill people don’t rush physically. This doesn’t mean they don’t get stuff done or are layabout hippy types.
It simply means they move at the speed of life. They talk at a pace that doesn’t stress others or themselves.
They take it all in their stride. They own time in their calm motion.
Moving calmly and more slowly can be intentional. It can be viewed as a habit that is nurtured.
When you move slower, life slows down too, and everything becomes easier.
3. They remove triggers that make them anxious.
This one seems obvious, but you know why it needs to be included.
Even if we get anxious and verbally express our dissatisfaction with it, we can still do things that make us nervous.
You know what those things are. Stop smoking. Reduce or cut out caffeine.
Be conscious of the cause-and-effect relationship between certain habits and how you feel.
You need to find a way to be OK with dropping bad habits.
Understand how the thrill you get from quitting is better than the buzz you get from your ‘fix.’
4. They don't wear exhaustion like a badge of honor.
Sleeping adequately (7–9 hours) is still frequently scoffed at by people who wear their daily exhaustion like a badge of honor.
‘Oh, I’m super-cool because I work out daily, take care of the kids, work four jobs, and sleep four hours a day. Sleep is for the weak.’
Good for you, bozo, but lack of sleep makes you stressed and rapidly ages you.
You need to find a way to sleep solid, nourishing hours every night to be truly calm.
This is how you perform at the highest level.
5. They give up on ‘shoulds.’
Calm people live by this philosophy:
No matter what we decide to do with our lives, there will always be challenges, problems, and frustrations.
Living according to what other people want, rather than what we want, is to live out of integrity and is therefore stressful.
So, the most chill people go for what they want to do.
They ask: ‘What would I love to create this month?’
And they find a way to make it happen, knowing full well that all kinds of crap will attempt to get in their way and sabotage their efforts.
If they expected it all to be easy, you could be sure these people would be wound up tighter than a toy truck.
But they are relaxed because they expect hardship and just roll with it, happy in the knowledge they’ve chosen the thing they want to do, for themselves, not for Sally, or mummy or Pete, the talkative plumber who thinks he knows best.
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6. They make others around them calm.
Here’s a fun little life hack: focus on helping other human beings get what you want, and you will get what you want.
So, if you want to feel calmer, focus on helping others feel calm.
Now your attention is no longer on yourself, which is debilitating, as you know.
Your attention is outward.
This is what it means to be mentally well.
Mental health is to sidestep all the internal stuff about who we are and how we feel.
It’s about contributing and bringing joy to others.
Open your eyes.
Make others calm, and you will be relaxed.
7. They create more than they consume.
We are always in either one of two modes: reacting or creating. Note how they contain the same letters.
Reacting at its worst is to respond angrily to something that triggers you.
Notice this happening a lot on the Internet? Yup.
Most people are hopelessly reactive, judgemental, and miserable as a result.
Consumption is also often a form of reactivity.
Creating is the flip side of consumption and is what humans are made to do.
If your life features more consumption and reaction than creating, you’re polluting your mind and soul.
You’re adopting the submissive posture of a follower and a loser.
Calmness follows doing what is nourishing and natural and the true expression of what it means to be human: creating.
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8. They stop looking for elusive ‘happiness.’
There’s a difference between pursuing what we want to do in our lives and chasing happiness.
Looking for happiness means we’re continually self-evaluating our emotional experience. It’s super self-conscious.
The thing about emotions is this: they fluctuate with every thought we have passing through our skulls.
We’re fluctuating beings by our very nature. Calm people stopped focusing on their feelings and perceived ‘happiness’ long ago.
Instead, they put their attention towards creating systems that are biased to action. They create momentum.
It’s to be in action, taking the hits, and embracing the suckier parts of life that will create what we perceive to be ‘happiness.’
Happiness isn’t always a good feeling — it’s to be in the trenches, doing what interests us, covered in mud, with a smile on your face.
RELATED: 11 Daily Habits Of Highly Polished People — That Give Them A Huge Advantage
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He shares tips on growing and monetizing your brand in his Mastery Den newsletter.