Self

30 Things The Smartest Women Know By The Time They're 30

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30th birthday

Life is a grand and wonderful thing, and it only gets better as we women get older.

We have to date the wrong guys and get into some messy friendship breakups to realize who we are.

We have to learn lessons and make mistakes to grow and know what we want out of our lives. There is no guideline or a certain set of expectations that must be met before a certain age.

Here are 30 things the smartest women know by the time they're 30:

1. The end of a relationship does not always have to be someone's fault or a rejection of you

Sometimes, it's just the end of something that wasn't right for you. Actually, it's always that.

RELATED: 28 Bad Relationship Habits You Desperately Need To Lose By Age 30

2. No one has it all, but some people do make the best of what they have and take very good care of it.

Those people tend to savor their lives a bit more.

3. The difference between "crazy in love" and "crazy" is one person letting go

If someone is still holding onto their love for you, show compassion, give closure, and offer kindness. A good character should not change with a title. On the flip side, clinging onto a cold hand is not going to warm anyone's heart. There are ways to lick your wounds without demeaning yourself. Take time to find them.

4. Your habits today can directly prevent or cause heartache or a heart attack tomorrow

Live your best life, but make sure you're living it wisely.

5. Intense passion usually doesn't last

High heat tends to burn brightly and leave ash behind.

6. Smart is sexy, and anyone worth having sex with will be wildly turned on by your mind

They should be turned on by everything about you actually.

7. A few childlike traits can be charming, but being immature is a huge turn-off

Be aware of this when you go on that Hinge date next week. Is it charming or weird that he doesn't know how to do his laundry?

8. Many people are under the misconception that time heals all wounds

Especially the ones they caused.

9. No one is there to be "fixed up" into something else

Just save up your energy and invest it in what actually makes you feel happy and safe in your home and leave everyone else a chance to be found by someone who accepts them as is.

10. Beware the dangers of meditating on both the threat and promise of time

Time is what you make of it.

11. A jealous friend is more dangerous than a blatant enemy

Make sure the people in your life are as secure as you are.

RELATED: If You're Serious About Changing Your Life, Stop Doing These 20 Things

12. Accountability is one of the best gifts you can give to another and yourself

There's always something to be learned.

13. Time is valuable, so spend yours wisely

This is true even when sitting alone in the space of your own mind.

14. Those who really care about you will support you when you need it and refuse to when you don't

They're the people that really know you.

15. The best way to motivate yourself is to say, "You're better than that"

Then you have to prove it.

16. Just because they say it, doesn't make it true (for you)

People will sometimes say anything just to get the attention they want.

17. One should not "act" confident

One should work their butts off to become confident.

18. The love of your life should be the love in your life

You have to love everything you do and the people and things in your life.

19. Some people really, really, really suck

Trying to get through to them with all of the tools that will work with people who don't suck won't work.

20. You're not perfect

You don't have to be. No one else is perfect either (even if their beds are made every morning).

RELATED: The 9 Most Important Things You Need To Know About Life, According To 100-Year-Olds

21. Being victimized is an unfortunate part of life

Being a victim leads to an unfortunate life.

22. We all have our own sh*t we deal with

Getting yours together helps you get into the game.

23. Texting someone is not "making a real effort" and it's not how you build relationships

If that man always texts you but never actually asks you out on a date, he's not gonna be boyfriend material.

24. People lie

Especially to themselves.

25. Focusing on living a life that inspires respect from others is far more fulfilling than campaigning for likes

Live life not worried about what other people think is truly freeing, and worth it.

26. "Yeah, so what?" is a great way to silence critics, especially the ones in your head

Nothing is as earth-shattering as we make it out to be,

27. Pay attention to your audience

This will help you take a little time to take a deep breath, and then say exactly what you mean to say in a way you would not mind printed.

28. We are in this world together, but our lives are traveled on our own

This means you are the only person in this entire world with all of the information surrounding your life.

29. A partner should add to a partnership

If not, it is better to keep everyone else's names off of the operating agreement.

30. The fresh start you have been waiting for has just arrived

Do whatever you want with it. That's the beauty of life.

RELATED: 20 Unsexy Micro-Habits That Save Me 30 Hours Every Week

Brenda Della Casa is the author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey and Gotham Bandit, A Huffington Post Blogger, and the founder of BDC Life In Style.

This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from the author.