Self

10 Tiny Things People Who Truly Love Themselves Do Without Even Realizing It

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smiling woman

In an age where so much emphasis is placed on beauty, accolades, status, likes, and how many friends you have, loving and accepting ourselves as unique beings doesn’t happen overnight.

Nonetheless, as time goes on, loving who we are gets easier. We start to accept ourselves a little more, and life feels lighter and easier to navigate. Because when we love who we are, the world looks a little different.

Here are 10 things people who love themselves do without even realizing.

1. They feel more comfortable in their skin

Instead of seeing flaws when you look in the mirror, you look for attributes about yourself. You wear outfits that bring out your best features and you own your body. You love who you see staring back at you in the mirror.

So what if you put on a little weight, or if your body has changed in a few ways? This is evidence that you're enjoying life and living. Accepting yourself is becoming easier and you're finally feeling whole in your skin.​

things people who love themselves do without realizingPhoto: George Milton / Pexels

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2. They stop comparing themselves to others

Before, you would compare yourself to every person you saw. You asked yourself why your body, your skin, your face, your hair couldn't look like theirs. Because you compared, you often hated on others just because they are attractive.

Now, however, you know that comparison robs you of being who you truly are. And when you see another attractive person, you know their beauty doesn’t take away from your own. Most importantly, you know you're unique.

3. They look for validation within, not from others

You used to wait for people to compliment you on your outfit before you felt good about it, but now, you know you look good and you don’t care if someone compliments you or not, because you validate your existence.

You know that self-worth comes from within, and when you love who you are, there will always be this inner confirmation that you're more than enough.

4. They stop looking for another person to make them feel beautiful

A lot of women, in particular, fall into the trap of wanting men to validate their beauty, their value, and their worth, especially if they are single. They need to have a man tell them they are attractive in order to feel worthy.

You used to be this person, but now you know that a man cannot validate your beauty or your worth, and the sooner you got this, the sooner you owned who you are, whether single or not.

   

   

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5. They can acknowledge the success of others without being envious

The only reason someone would hate on another person is if they want what they have. Before, you shrunk in the presence of others who shined. It killed you to compliment another person or see their success shine because it made you feel inferior.

Now, because you're filled with love for yourself, you can acknowledge the wins of others without feeling like you’ve lost. There is enough for us all.

6. They aren't so hard on themselves

You used to beat yourself up for every little thing or every mistake you thought you made, never cutting yourself slack for being a human. You would put yourself down and berate yourself for perceived shortcomings.

Now, you know that loving yourself means that you're kinder to yourself in all things. You know you're doing the best you can, and your best is enough.

7. They look for good, quality partners

Being in relationships with bad people is sometimes a sign that self-love is lacking. You used to get with people that weren’t anything, but they gave you the attention and the validation you were looking for.

However, now, even if you have been single for a year or more, you will wait for the person who deserves you.

things people who love themselves do without realizingPhoto: Samson Katt / Pexels

8. They invest in self-care

Self-care means anything you implement in your life just for you that makes you a better person — whether it be a healthy meal plan, exercise, coffee dates or dinner dates by yourself, meditation, yoga, or whatever it is that keeps you aligned and centered.

Before, because you lacked love towards yourself, you neglected things that made you the best version of yourself. But now, you come first.

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9. They know success will someday be theirs

Rejection and seeing others succeed before you really used to get you down. You thought your writing wasn’t good enough, that you would never write that book, get that job, be the person you’ve always wanted to be.

But because you’ve now invested in yourself, the sky seems like the limit. You may not have it now, but you know, eventually, success will be yours.

10. When they say, 'I love myself', they actually mean it

Finally, when you look into your eyes and say, “I love myself,” you actually mean it. It isn’t an assignment you’ve given yourself, to say I love you more each day. The words aren’t grudgingly sliding off of your lips.

You feel it and you mean it, because after years of hurt, pain, and doubt, you finally, finally, love yourself.

things people who love themselves do without realizingPhoto: luizclas / Pexels

More and more people are doing things to love themselves a little bit more each day.

Judging from the effort we put in, we now see that loving who we are is far from easy. When a woman, or anyone for that matter, has gotten to the point in their lives where they truly love who they are, it's like a first kiss, first time, a wedding, or a graduation — it's a milestone, because loving who we are is something that takes years to develop.

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Bria Barrows is a freelance writer, mental health advocate, and YouTuber based in Toronto, Canada. Her bylines have appeared on Thought Catalog, Unwritten, HerCampus, The Mighty, and Elite Daily, among others.

This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.