People Who Are Hard To Manipulate Usually Notice 6 Things Before Anyone Else
KIRAYONAK YULIYA | Shutterstock It can be very difficult to see the signs of a manipulative person before it's too late. Manipulators often use every tactic they can think of to maintain control. But people who are very hard to manipulate are great at noticing a specific set of behaviors.
They can detect when someone's tone seems a bit off, while other people usually accept it as normal. This keen insight serves them well in protecting themselves from being bamboozled.
Someone who's hard to manipulate usually notices these things before anyone else:
1. Gaslighting phrases and behaviors
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Gaslighting is when somebody deliberately tells you that what you're feeling is wrong or made up in an attempt to manipulate the situation. They make you second-guess yourself and shift blame.
Gaslighting can take many forms, like guilt-tripping and not taking responsibility for actions. If a person tells you that something you witnessed is a lie, you're being gaslit. If somebody is trying to make you feel like you're not doing enough or that you constantly have something to apologize for, they're manipulating you.
But people who are hard to manipulate can see from the start that a person is trying to invalidate them. They're all about facts, so this tactic just won't work on them.
2. When someone is lying to them
Sometimes people lie for fun just to see if they can get away with it. If someone is lying about little things, like their personal history or even where they like to travel, they're likely lying about other things too.
People may try to play off lying as something that isn't a big deal, but it is, because it just makes it easier to lie. According to Brett Beasley and Christopher Adkins, from the Notre Dame Deloitte Center for Ethical Leadership, "When lying no longer stirs up negative feelings, we are able to increase the magnitude of our lies. Then the additional, larger lies further deaden our sensitivity to the act of lying, and the slippery slope continues."
3. If a manipulative person is being disrespectful of their time
Life happens and we're all late to the occasional appointment or event from time to time. However, when this happens all the time, a manipulative person will flip the script and remove themselves of any responsibility. People who are easy to manipulate just accept their excuses, but someone who is not isn't afraid to call them out for their disrespect.
By making people change their plans or wait around for them, it shows a high level of entitlement. And someone who pays close attention to this behavior notices right away that it's not right.
4. Negative comments disguised as compliments
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Manipulative people are all about drawing people in with charm and charisma, only to flip it around on them later. Sometimes, they resort to backhanded compliments, disguising insults as genuine compliments. For someone who isn't keen on noticing this, they accept it and say thank you.
For people who can see right through the manipulation, they're quick to call out the fake comments. They know they're being insulted, and they won't tolerate it.
5. When a person shows a serious lack of listening skills
There's nothing more disheartening than when you're telling somebody a story and someone isn't listening, waiting for their own turn to speak. What's even worse is when they expect you to listen to their stories uninterrupted. It's unfair and rude.
We can be in our own heads from time to time where we can't listen to another person in that moment. But when somebody does this consistently, they're manipulative. Not only should good friends and partners hear you out without judging, but they should provide support as well.
6. If the manipulator is keeping score
If you confront someone about an issue you have with them, and they reply by not taking accountability and instead counting all the things they've done right or that you've done wrong, they're being manipulative. They have no shame in playing the victim to avoid any transparency.
People who are difficult to manipulate tend to be emotionally mature, meaning they don't keep score. Instead, they just take responsibility for their actions, without passing blame, and move on.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
