5 Rare Things Happy People Do Daily Even When They'd Rather Rather Do Anything Else
mapodile | Canva Unless you've been hiding under a very big rock, you've surely heard people speak of the importance of having a daily gratitude practice, especially as it relates to happiness. And for good reason! The many benefits of gratitude can improve every aspect of your life.
In research, gratitude is consistently related to greater happiness, closer relationships, and fewer mental health issues. Practicing gratitude helps you feel more positive emotions, improves your health, helps you cope with difficult situations, helps you be resilient, helps you build strong relationships, and helps you relish in the good things happening in your life, too.
Being grateful has also been shown, in studies, to increase patience, improve decision-making, reduce blood pressure, improve sleep, increase exercise frequency, increase self-esteem, decrease depression, improve friendships, and make you more optimistic. That's a lot of benefits! Like anything else, start small and keep it simple.
It is no exaggeration to say that daily gratitude will make you an incredibly happy person. With all of the positive benefits of gratitude (lower blood pressure, less heart disease, better sleep, better relationships), it’s one of the most important components of your overall wellness.
5 rare things happy people do daily, even when they'd rather do anything else:
1. Happy people make gratitude a daily ritual
When my family and I sit down to eat together, we tell each other our GTPs — what we’re Grateful, Thankful, and Proud of ourselves for. Because I live with teenagers, there are a couple of ground rules we follow:
- We don’t interrupt anyone when they’re telling their GTPs.
- We do this before we get up from the table. Sometimes one of our GTPs will spark a conversation, and so we will be all done eating before everyone shares their GTPs. That’s fine. We all get a turn.
- Our GTPs need to be unique. Even if we’re all grateful for the delicious food, only one of us can say that. This encourages reluctant share-ers to go first and, if our GTP was just taken, it allows our brain to look for other things to be grateful for.
- We need to be flexible. Like any household habit or tradition, I need to be flexible, especially as a mom. If a child asks us not to do them at a certain meal (usually because a friend is there for dinner), I honor that.
When you’re practicing gratitude routinely, missing a day will not bring you back to square zero.
2. Happy people start and end their day by focusing on what's going right
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One study suggested the more you get in the habit of deliberately pausing for gratitude, the more your brain will search for (and find) things that are going well in your life. So start and finish your day with gratitude with a gratitude journal or list.
Before I get started with my work day, I think of at least three things I’m happy about (about that day or about life in general). If it’s a weekend, I do it before I finish my coffee. When I lie down to sleep at night, I share three things I’m grateful for with my partner.
Here are several ways you can add these bookends to your life. Choose one and try it for a week:
- Get a gratitude buddy and decide to text your 3 things to each other morning and night.
- If you're a single parent (or your spouse is an over-worker), share things you're grateful for with your kids in the morning and when you tuck them in at night.
- Keep a notebook in your purse and another by your bed to write what you're grateful for in the AM and PM.
- Get an app and have them keep you accountable (they usually have some sort of reminder system you can set up).
3. Happy people pause during the day to notice what's good
Set an alarm on your phone that says, "What are you grateful for?" and when it goes off, stop to think of at least two things you’re grateful for right then. Look around. What is great about your life? Stop what you’re doing, put your phone down, and find something to savor. Look out the window. Is the sky pretty? How does your chair feel under your butt? Slow down to savor the little things in your life.
Research has helped show that gratitude is the number one indicator of whether someone feels joy in their life or not. Get in the habit of gratitude. My alarm is set for 2:10 PM, and I invite you to join me, and we can shine those gratitude vibes together. It takes 30 seconds (or less) and has profound benefits in all areas of your life.
4. Happy people step outside their bubble on purpose
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In order to be grateful, we must have perspective. What does that mean? Think of how you feel extra grateful for your heated house in the days after your broken furnace has been fixed. Or, think of how you are super appreciative of your healthy teeth after you’ve had the experience of a toothache.
This is called "Get Out There Gratitude" because sometimes, everyone around us looks like their lives are rosy and perfect (Facebook newsfeed, anyone?!). Don’t be fooled. Everyone is struggling with something. In fact, I’ve found that the fancier or happier their posts appear, the worse their reality actually is.
Yet, since the people around you look pretty darn good, get out of your normal area and head to a different area of town. Visiting your local homeless shelter or food kitchen would be a wonderful way to do this, as it takes planning; often, we put it off. Instead, go to a supermarket or coffee shop in a different area of town, preferably one where you know people struggle more financially.
Travel is another great way to gain perspective and thus, increase your gratitude. Not only is your bed super comfortable when you return, but you see things when traveling that are not like what you are accustomed to at home. If nothing else, turn on a documentary and watch people who don’t have running water. You'll appreciate your water faucet a bit more the next day.
Research has suggested that when we direct our brain to look for what we can be grateful for, we can’t look for what there is to not be grateful for.
5. Happy people redirect their thoughts in real time
This is for those of you who might view the glass as half empty or have a harder time seeing the positives in your day that you feel grateful for. If you're setting up a daily gratitude alarm, this time when it goes off, instead of thinking of two things that you’re grateful for, think of two things that aren’t going wrong right then. Seriously.
Your brain will get to work to look for something that’s not wrong, and when it’s doing that, it can’t focus on what is not going well or what is wrong. No matter how awful my life felt at any given moment, there was always something not going wrong. Even if everything else seems to be falling around you, what isn't?
In case this long list of benefits doesn't convince you, consider these two specific ways gratitude can improve your life.
First, remember that your feelings come from the thoughts you focus on. If you consciously interrupt your day to redirect your mind towards more grateful thoughts, you'll routinely be in a more positive emotional state.
Secondly, gratitude changes your brain. When you choose to focus on a grateful thought over a non-grateful or more negative thought, you actually start a new neuro-pathway in your brain.
What does this mean for you? It means that the next time you are in a similar situation, not only is it easier to choose a thought that will generate some of those positive effects just mentioned, but it is equally less likely that you’ll get stuck in a downward spiral of negative or critical thinking.
If you're still on the fence as to whether you want to add some sort of gratitude practice to your life, here are three quick questions to ask yourself:
- How do you feel when you’re thinking about the things that are going well in your life?
- How do you feel when you think about the things in your life that you love?
- Do you like feeling that way?
I do. And I know I’m not alone.
When you think about what’s going well in your life and what you love, you are cultivating gratitude. Study after study has shown that the more grateful we feel, the better off we are in all aspects of our lives.
The more you manage your mind to see things in a positive way and stay away from negative, unproductive thinking, the more good you bring to this world. It’s not about ignoring things that are going wrong. It’s about moving through those things while keeping the perspective of our inner selves and abilities.
Susie Pettit is a mindfulness-based cognitive coach and podcast host. She coaches women to live a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
