9 Things Every Gen-X Household Kept In The Liquor Cabinet That Kids Today Have Zero Clue About
Yellow Garnet Photography | Canva As I rolled through my pre-teens and teens, circa 1980–1988, I was introduced to a plethora of beverages stocked in our Gen-X liquor cabinet that spanned not only the flavor spectrum but also the color spectrum. If it was available, we tried it, and not everything was a success. (Nothing says “it’s a party” like pink colored vomit.) Here is a far-from-complete list of the Gen-X drinks I chose to experiment with that today's kids probably have no clue about.
Here are the things you’ll find in a Gen-X liquor cabinet:
1. Tickle Pink (by Boone’s Farm)
Okay, so most Gen-Xers will debate that Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill was the epitome of the cheap 80s wine, and they’re right. But when you go to the most obscure liquor store you can find to send in the tall girl who “looks the oldest” to buy some cheap booze (me), this is the choice I was given. So I took it. A sweet, cheap berry-flavored “wine” that made us feel sophisticated as we passed it around Vanessa’s dad’s conversion van while skipping school. Note: Don’t drink Tickle Pink and jump on a trampoline.
2. California Coolers
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This was the mecca of its time. California Cooler was the original wine cooler and esophagus shredder. Blended white wine and citrus flavors came together for what was initially a crisp, clean, fun & fruity flavor that got millions of high school and college students tipsy, and made them realize that drinking too much resulted in not just citrus-flavored vomit, but a throat and stomach burning sensation that made you feel like you were having a heart attack. Do not consume without a stash of Rolaids or Tums on hand.
3. Trash Can Punch/Everclear
Okay, so we liked those wine coolers, but when it was a real party, Everclear made an appearance. Mixing one or two bottles of this ultra-high-proof (95%) grain alcohol into a giant trash can with Kool-Aid or Hi-C for flavor was the way to go. It was what you drank when you wanted to forget what you were about to do. Gen-X didn't mess around when it came to drinking.
4. Goldschlagger
This kitchy schnapps-style cinnamon beverage was introduced in the 90s, which worked out well for young, budding 20-something Gen-Xers trying to look a little more sophisticated. No more Tequila shots; now you were able to shoot a shot that contained real 24-karat-gold flakes. Given that the 80s were the decade of excess, it feels like it should’ve been alongside preppy, Polo- and Topsider-wearing college guys, as well as Wall Street moguls, instead of bar-hopping, grunge-wearing Nirvana wannabes. (No offense to grunge-wearing Nirvana wannabes.)
5. Seagram’s/Bartles & Jaymes Wine Coolers
Let’s move on with the wine cooler category because there wasn’t one person, weak or strong, blue collar or white collar, who didn’t try at least one wine cooler in the 80s. Whether it was a parking lot party or a corporate happy hour, there were wine coolers.
After California Coolers exploded, both Seagram’s and Bartles & Jaymes took over the market with their multi-flavored options. You could suffer from intense heartburn in flavors of berry, peach, citrus, and more. The original recipe was made with, shocker, wine, but in the early 90s they changed the base to malt liquor due to an excise tax they didn’t want to pass on to the consumer. So now, it’s just bougie beer.
6. Long Island Iced Tea
The young Gen-Xer's favorite bevvie. I couldn’t stomach it but had plenty of friends who did. Five different hard-core liquors (vodka, rum, gin, tequila, and triple sec) combined with a few mixers and voila! You’ve got a refreshing, “iced tea tasting” drink that will knock you on your back while your beer-drinking friends are still coherent enough to sneak out the bar door, leaving you face down on the bar responsible for the tab. True story.
7. Light Beers
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Speaking of beers, let’s get physical! The shift from the hippy-70s to the active-80s meant we wanted to be fit but feeling good. You’ve seen the ads: young 20-somethings playing beach volleyball, rollerblading, bike-riding, and beach-going while enjoying a refreshing light beer because it “tastes great and is less filling.” Those 90 calories never tasted so good and guilt-free, especially if Spuds MacKenzie was behind the tap. My favorite was Coors Light.
8. Kegs
The consummate party purchase of the 80s. Frat parties, pool parties, birthday parties, corporate parties, and weddings weren’t complete without a giant barrel of beer, usually accompanied by several sleeves of red Solo cups. Everyone wanted to pump the keg, or drink directly from the hose, or, when things got out of hand, to take their chances with a beer bong. Just don’t be around it when the keg floats, or you might be sent to the store to grab a few emergency Coors Light Party Balls.
9. Zima
I couldn’t end without another wine cooler. Zima came along in the early 90s and couldn’t have been more of a 90s drink. Lightly carbonated, clear, and in some 80s-to-90s packaging, this refreshing beverage transitioned nicely into the “clear” phase, along with Crystal Pepsi and Crystal Light.
We were transitioning through the translucent phase of life, which meant “the future.” Drinks, deodorants, detergents, and electronics were suddenly see-through, giving the impression of purity and cleanliness. I’m pretty sure Zima was crisp and clean, but I can’t say that my actions while drinking it matched the vibe.
Kristen Crisp is the founder of Not Even Wine With Dinner. A community/mission for those looking for peer support with sobriety, self-esteem, mental health, aging, and all the things that come with being human. She is also a frequent writer on Medium under the handle @notevenwinewithdinner.
