2 Things Deeply Unhappy Women Do On A Regular Basis
Behind the smile, these two habits reveal a struggle most people never see.
M Pixo | Unsplash There is an abundance of articles, books, and quotes about relationships and how we can make them work and be happy. Still, it seems to be one of the most challenging things for us in our lives.
Research supports that the purpose of a relationship with another being is to feel connected, to love and be loved, and certainly to communicate so that we can live fulfilling and meaningful lives. But so often, we are left feeling deeply unhappy and unfulfilled.
Many of my clients come in with a lot of complaints about their relationships with their surroundings, feeling hurt and frustrated. What most of us do not realize is that we are making two major mistakes on an unconscious level. Many women, in particular, do not even realize that when they do things that make them deeply unhappy, it often happens through our conditioning.
Here are two things deeply unhappy women do on a regular basis:
1. Look outside of themself to find the cause of their unhappiness
This means that most of us are judging our surroundings on a consistent level. We see the outside world, people, or things as the cause of how we feel. We are conditioned to look outside of ourselves to find the cause and the solution to our conflicts or challenges.
Look at your romantic relationship with your partner, where you are used to judging that person for making you feel hurt or frustrated. Now, change that situation and go within to observe yourself on a conscious level.
Ask yourself the right questions about what exact need lies behind those feelings, because that is then the underlying cause of your hurt and frustration. Try to understand yourself better and search for strategies or requests to fulfill those core needs.
It will change that romantic relationship, or any other relationship for that matter, because you are focusing on yourself and not on the judgment of the other person.
Blaming others or external circumstances for one's problems prevents individuals from taking responsibility for their contributions to the issues. A 2024 study found that this defense mechanism, while offering temporary protection to the ego, ultimately prevents them from becoming healthier and better-adjusted.
2. Forget that the most important relationship is the one they have with themselves
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We are conditioned from a young age that putting others first is the right thing to do, that we need to live our lives through the outside world. What we do not realize is that every relationship in your life gives you a mirror of the relationship you have with yourself.
If you want to be loved, understood, and respected, you need to work on yourself first and love, understand, and respect yourself first before you can expect from others to give that to you.
Many of us women (and also some men) sacrifice ourselves to please, help, and save others in our surroundings, personally or professionally. We forget that we need to fill our cup first so that we can build relationships with others from a place of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-worth.
If you do not value yourself, how can you expect your partner, your boss, or your mother-in-law to value you? These two mistakes are to tell you that it all starts with you.
"You are your best investment" is one of my mantras, and I want to inspire you to live from the inside out. I hope you can see that it all starts with yourself, so you can take control of your life and your results.
Let’s stop pointing fingers at others for the results in our lives. Stop making the mistake of looking outside of yourself for your relationship challenges. Take your life and your relationships into your own hands.
A 2022 study argues that constantly focusing on fulfilling the needs and expectations of others, without tending to their emotional reserves, can lead to emotional depletion, anxiety, and burnout. Practicing self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-care can significantly improve mental health and well-being.
Make the decision that you are going to be your next project. You will not regret it.
Danielle Sax is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and wealth mentor.
