11 Things Adults With Actual Integrity Are Tired Of At This Stage Of Their Lives
Adults with integrity are sick of putting up with these things.
Cast Of Thousands / Shutterstock Having integrity is important. For many, they’ve become stronger in their morals and ideologies as they have aged. Adults with integrity value honesty and consistency. This helps them in their personal relationships and in their career. They are conscious of others' time, happily give credit where it’s due, and are proud of their authenticity.
“’Integrity’ is a word you hear almost every day, but it’s not a word that people spend a lot of time thinking about. If you try to define it, what would you say? According to the dictionary, integrity is a ‘firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values,’” says Seth Meyers, Psy.D., for Psychology Today. “Put another way, the root of integrity is about doing the right thing even when it’s not acknowledged by others, or convenient for you. An individual with integrity is the antidote to self-interest.” Those who hold integrity close to them are easily annoyed by those who do not take the trait seriously. It can be difficult to always try to be honest when people around you are not following suit.
These are 11 things adults with actual integrity are tired of at this stage of their lives
1. Fake apologies
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Everyone will have their feelings hurt at some point. It’s to be expected. What is worse than opening up about that experience and having the other person half-heartedly apologize? You know they don’t mean it. They just feel like they have to say it. Adults with actual integrity can’t stand fake apologies.
When you have a strong moral compass, it can be deeply upsetting to experience fake apologies. Adults with integrity wish that everyone had the same ideology as they do. They want honesty and genuine behavior from the people in their lives, and when they don’t get it, they become tired of it.
2. White lies
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Lying is a no-go for adults with integrity. At this stage of their lives, they have no patience for people who are incapable of being honest. When it comes to white lies, they are especially annoying. They crave genuine people, and those who make up silly lies drive them crazy.
“White lies are deemed acceptable because the intention is a noble one—to protect someone from feeling hurt,” writes Yvonne Castañeda, LICSW, MSW, for Psychology Today. “But let’s be honest. White lies have more to do with protecting ourselves. Many of us don’t know how to embrace discomfort, and white lies are an easy way out.”
When someone with integrity notices white lies being told to protect the person saying them from taking accountability for their actions, they grow frustrated.
3. Insincere morality
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Adults with integrity find morality important. They believe in doing what’s best for everyone around them. They stand strong in their morals. It’s something they hold near and dear to their hearts.
Few things get under the skin of adults with integrity than insincere morality. They can instantly tell when someone is being dishonest about something. Let’s say someone says they believe in something because they think it’s the correct view to have, but they don’t actually care. Have you seen videos online of influencers pretending to help less fortunate people for likes? Adults with integrity can’t stand that kind of behavior.
4. Toxic positivity
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Of course, adults with integrity hold a positive outlook on life. However, they embrace the truth, even if it is not pretty. They understand that things go wrong, and they deal with stress and pain just like everyone else. When others tell them to only look at the positive in life, they find it irritating. They believe everyone should feel their emotions, no matter how bad they may be.
“Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead,” says Psychology Today. “Although setting aside difficult emotions is sometimes necessary temporarily, denying negative feelings long-term is harmful because it can prevent people from processing their emotions and overcoming their distress.”
5. Lack of humility
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It’s hard for people with integrity to deal with others who lack humility. They believe in having no arrogance. They don’t think anyone is better than anyone else. They approach life humbly and hope everyone else does the same.
These adults support and encourage confidence. They find a positive approach to work and relationships valuable. However, they can’t stand arrogance. Those who lack humility have less capacity for empathy. They struggle to connect with people because they view themselves as the center of their universe. Adults with integrity are tired of that behavior.
6. Manipulation
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What’s less honest than people who use manipulation? You can’t have integrity and feel comfortable gaslighting others to control them. They despise how manipulation makes others less trusting.
“Manipulation preys on what is good in people. Manipulators focus on people’s hopes, dreams, desire to be kind, or simply basic trust in others, and think of all kinds of ways to exploit these traits,” writes life coach Kosjenka Muk. “As a consequence, people become less and less friendly, less and less trusting, and more and more cynical and closed towards each other. I’ve read articles about experiments in which people were offered money in the streets, out of the blue, no strings attached, and most refused to take it. The authors of those experiments wrote about how surprised they were with such a mistrustful attitude, and occasionally lamented 'human nature.'"
7. Unreliable people
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Those with integrity are trustworthy. You can always count on them to come through. No matter what they have to sacrifice in the process, they’re always there for the people who need them. They can’t stand unreliable people.
When someone is unreliable, they view it as disrespectful. They know the importance of following through with a promise. Let’s say they assign a task to someone at work, and the person keeps asking for an extension on the due date. They will grow frustrated, knowing they can’t trust them to complete things in a timely fashion.
8. Self-obsession
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Adults with integrity value altruism. They believe that people should support one another. They want to provide the help they can to others around them. They need to help others, and they can’t stand to see others practice self-servance.
“In many cases, this cognitive bias allows you to protect your self-esteem. By attributing positive events to personal characteristics, you get a boost in confidence,” says Kendra Cherry, MSEd, for Verywell Mind. “Blaming outside forces for failures, you protect your self-esteem and absolve yourself from personal responsibility."
Adults with integrity do not believe in feeding someone's ego. They think others need to put their own needs aside when possible.
9. Hypocrisy
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I’m sure we can all relate to them on this one. Hypocrisy is one of the most frustrating traits to deal with in another person. When they are overly critical of something but then act that same way, those with integrity can’t stand it.
One study found that our dislike of hypocrites comes from a certain place. Yes, it is an annoying trait to have. However, the reason those with integrity feel so bothered by hypocrites is that they feel tricked by them. For people who deeply value honesty, when they feel duped, it changes their opinion of that person entirely.
10. Forced responsibility
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Adults with integrity believe in everyone taking responsibility for themselves and their behavior. They grow tired of holding the weight of the world on their shoulders. When a coworker or a loved one forces all of the responsibility for tasks, they become frustrated.
“Taking on too much responsibility for others’ behavior can become a lifelong habit that harms both yourself and the other person. It can cause frustration, resentment, and feelings of being taken advantage of,” writes Dianne Grande, Ph.D., for Psychology Today. “Changing this habit is difficult, but can be done once you realize how it’s been harming both yourself and your relationships.”
11. Excusing bad behavior
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With integrity comes the idea that everyone should do the best they can for those around them. Of course, they know that sometimes, people fall short. Even those who practice honesty and compassion every day occasionally fall short. However, when someone can’t take responsibility for their bad behavior and others around them excuse it, they are tired of putting up with it at their age.
“At some point, that friend would acknowledge their consistent tardiness, and I would just brush it off with a joke or an excuse. But, inside, I am seething and feeling totally disrespected. I know they aren’t going to change,” says author and speaker Jennifer Bassman. “What this develops into is a harmful pattern. A harmful pattern is anything that’s done by someone close to you that’s avoidable, but doesn’t seem to change. Even worse, they put little to no effort into improvement.”
This is something that those with integrity can’t stand.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
