If These 3 Things Are Part Of Your Day, You're Probably Living An Amazing Life Without Realizing It
Анна Хазова | Canva The most persistent theme that I have learned throughout my life thus far is that every decision ultimately comes down to our values. And we suffer or thrive to the degree that we have identified and live by our values. Research shows that when people actually live according to their values, they experience higher life satisfaction — and often, an amazing life.
If you find yourself constantly second-guessing yourself, living in your head, and being uncertain about what path to take in your life, it might be high time you sat down and had a serious chat with yourself about what your values are. So, to cut right to the chase, the three steps to an amazing life of genuine fulfillment are as follows.
If these 3 things are part of your day, you're probably living an amazing life without realizing it:
1. You keep your priorities straight
How do you go about identifying your personal values? If you aren't sure what your values are, try keeping a journal with you for a week and write down all of the times that you notice your heart being especially full during certain activities, as well as other activities where you feel especially hurt or drained.
Then, compile the data and ask yourself, "Why?" Why do I hurt here, and why do I feel such deep joy here? The answers will lead you to your core personal values. Research found that regular reflective journaling helps people identify emotional patterns and clarify what truly matters to them. Writing about your daily experiences increases self-awareness and helps you figure out your core values.
2. You make time for what's important
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Insights are one thing, actions are another. Once you have identified what it is that deeply matters to you, it is simply a matter of consistently taking decisive action in the direction of your goals.
A Canadian study tracking students' daily lives found that actually taking action on your values leads to lower stress than just knowing what your values are. The research showed that people who did things aligned with their values each day felt significantly better.
3. You say no to things that don't make sense for you
This point comes down to boundary setting. Say yes to what you want, say no to what you don't want. Will you be able to be perfect with this? Will you be able to say no to absolutely everything that interferes with your values? No. Life happens. Things will come up that will get in the way, and that's fine. Flexibility is important, but always aim to do your best to choose the direction of your values.
Research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who set healthy boundaries are generally happier and more satisfied with their lives. The study showed that protecting your values through boundaries lowers stress and increases life satisfaction, even though it obviously takes ongoing effort.
The more you honor your core values, the happier and more deeply fulfilled you will feel. The more you dishonor and ignore your values, the more prone you will be to feelings of anxiousness, despondency, sadness, and a general lackluster feeling of being disengaged in your life.
The long and short of it is this: If you can arrive at your own internal definition of what your life should look like and stick to it (no matter what the next big shiny opportunity looks like), you will be better for it. You won't be tossed around by the winds of life because you will be firmly rooted in your own version of reality that matters to you.
Jordan Gray is a five-time Amazon best-selling author, public speaker, and relationship coach with more than a decade of practice. His work has been featured in The New York Times, BBC, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Women's Health, and The Good Men Project, among countless others.
