I Started Saying This One Simple Phrase All The Time, And My Life Began To Shift For The Better
Oğuz Yağız Kara | Unsplash Two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I road-tripped up to New Hampshire to visit my dad. Since we’re from Long Island, New York, and the ferry freaks me out, the drive takes approximately five and a half hours — without traffic.
We hit traffic. Somewhere in Connecticut, we stopped at a service station for coffee. When we got back into the car, the infotainment screen in his Toyota SUV wouldn’t turn on. That meant no GPS navigation. No text notifications. No music. No audiobook to pass the time.
“Shoot,” my boyfriend said.
“Shoot,” I repeated.
He pressed some buttons. Nothing. He turned the engine off and then on again. Nada. He restarted his car a second time. The black screen mocked us. Then, to compensate for my limited technical skills, I offered one simple phrase: “What if we existed in an alternate reality where this screen suddenly worked?”
My boyfriend paused, thought, and nodded. (We’ve been together for almost four years now, so Seb is used to my new-age jargon. He’s also into quantum physics and Hindu scriptures, so he’s open to the idea that thoughts influence matter.) “Okay. Alright. Why not? When I turn this car back on, we’ll be in an alternate reality where it works.”
Seb shut off the car, turned the keys in the ignition, and the screen flickered to life. He laughed and looked at me like I had five heads. I shrugged. Our audiobook resumed, and we pulled back onto the highway.
This is not the first time I’ve used this phrase to change my reality. Several months ago, I was shopping for hair gloss at a drugstore. I’d driven 45 minutes to this particular location because the internet said they carried this particular hair gloss in this particular color — but when I scanned the shelf, the Wild Berry shade was nowhere to be found.
No. Nuh uh. This will not be a wasted trip. I refuse.
While standing in the empty aisle, I asked myself, “What if I existed in an alternate reality where this store has the shade I want?” I reached my arm out, moved a box of Crystal Quartz to the side, and there it was: Wild Berry — the last one.
Coincidence? Maybe, but I got my hair gloss, and we made it to and from New Hampshire with a working screen. Now, it’s my new go-to phrase for manifestation. I’ve since used it to attract parking spots, good-news e-mails, and a little extra cash. The formula is simple. Phrasing the manifestation as a question, ask yourself:
I started saying this one phrase all the time, and my life got better: 'What if I existed in an alternate reality where ______?'
Anna Shvets / Pexels
Then fill in the blank with your desired outcome
I know what you’re thinking. It’s manifesting 101: “Always phrase a manifestation as a concrete statement in the present tense, as if it’s already happened.” But that’s never worked well for me, and here’s why:
I have a skeptical brain. I doubt anything that doesn’t have a scientific basis. (Once, a hypnotherapist got visibly annoyed at me because I’m part of the 25% of people who can’t be easily hypnotized.) To convince myself that I have $1 million in the bank when I know I have $100 is a lost cause.
But a different version of Maria in a different reality? That’s something I can get behind.
The Multiverse is a theoretical concept in quantum physics. In short, it suggests that countless versions of reality exist simultaneously, and that every possible outcome branches off into its own universe. As conscious observers, we can theoretically navigate into and out of realities using our thoughts.
Even if the Multiverse isn’t correct (quantum physics theories are notoriously difficult to prove or disprove), neuroscientists and psychologists agree that we don’t experience the world as it is. Rather, we experience the world as our brains expect it to be.
The reticular activating system (RAS) is a bundle of neurons in the brainstem that filters sensory information. When we expect to see something, we notice proof that we’re right. When we don’t expect to see something, our brains filter it out.
It’s why, when you’re thinking of buying a specific car in a specific color, you suddenly notice that car everywhere. It’s also why, when you genuinely believe you’re unlucky, you have trouble recognizing all the small wins life hands you. Changing your expectations of the world isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible — and curiosity is the key.
Science shows that questions lower psychological resistance
When people encounter statements that contradict their lived reality, the brain responds with resistance.
It argues. It disregards. It backfires. In fact, a study in Political Behavior found that when presented with irrefutable evidence to the contrary, people don’t change their minds. Instead, they double down on their old beliefs.
That’s why telling yourself you drive a Porsche when you actually drive a 2004 Honda Civic feels mentally uncomfortable.
But when you phrase the idea as a question, it bypasses the brain’s defensiveness and invites curiosity. Similar to a child playing pretend, you’re merely asking yourself to imagine a world in which this scenario exists. In doing so, you’re priming your RAS to look for new proof.
In 2018, a study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied proved exactly this. Researchers set out to see if questions are more persuasive than statements when changing someone’s beliefs and behaviors.
The first group of participants drank in rooms with anti-alcohol posters that told them, point-blank, you shouldn’t drink. The second group of participants drank in rooms with posters that encouraged self-persuasion using open-ended questions, like “Why is alcohol bad for you?”
Guess which group drank less and was more psychologically accepting of the message? Yep — the group that was encouraged to make up their own minds about it.
Similarly, a different study in Psychological Science found that people are much more likely to complete tasks and achieve goals when they ask themselves if they’re willing to do it, rather than telling themselves to get it done.
Finally, this manifesting tactic creates psychological distance
You know when one of your friends is going through something difficult, and the answer to their problems is so crystal clear, you want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them?
But when the exact same thing happens to you, it’s suddenly not so easy to fix. Psychologists call this self-distancing. When someone views a problem from an outsider’s perspective, they’re much better at regulating emotions, thinking flexibly, and finding solutions. And self-distancing is something you can trick your brain into doing on purpose.
Multiple studies found that people feel much less stressed when they imagine future events from an outside observer’s perspective, rather than imagining themselves as active participants. In other words, mentally distancing yourself helps you feel calm, confident, and in control of any situation.
By imagining an alternate version of you in an alternate reality who already has what you want, you feel less pressure to achieve it. You’re side-stepping the emotional weight of needing it — because somewhere, somehow, you already have it.
Now, you’re observing instead of clinging. Mentally, physically, and spiritually, desperation shuts us down, while calm curiosity opens us up to receive.
Maria Cassano is a writer, editor, and journalist whose work has appeared on NBC, Bustle, CNN, The Daily Beast, Food & Wine, and Allure, among others. She's in the process of publishing her memoir.
