4 Soul-Sucking Things That Slowly Drain Your Motivation

Years of ‘not feeling like doing stuff’ made me learn a lot about what it takes to be ‘motivated.’ I saw that motivation is — counterintuitively — more about what you don’t do than what you consciously try to do.

Here are the 4 soul-sucking things that slowly drain your motivation:

1. Fake dopamine spikes

Fake sources of dopamine are an extremely underrated destroyer of your passion for life. Why, Alex, why? Because you get big dopamine spikes from porn or playing video games, which slowly destroys the sensitivity of your dopamine receptors.

Yes, this happens. Over time, you need more and more stimulation to get the same ‘hit,’ and this numbs you further. You might get your fix online, but guess what? Normal life becomes boring to you. Being motivated to write, paint, and create is now the last thing you want to do. Congrats — you’re officially a robot.

2. Waiting for motivation

‘Motivation’ is not a feeling, an emotion, or something that seizes us like a lightning bolt from the heavens. Motivation is a doing. It is a verb. It is an action — a lifestyle even. You act in a way that a motivated person acts. Now you’re motivated. Your "doing" creates your identity. It is kind of weird, I get it.

But most of us get it wrong, wait for inspiration like Plato, and then wonder why three hours have gone by and all we’ve achieved is to extract three large boogers. If you want to be more motivated, get off your butt, and do more stuff. This feeds the self-image you have as a motivated person. Act, even if you don’t feel like it. Just take a laughably small step. This is huge and will change your life.

3. Making it about you

This is probably one of the most common and pernicious motivations destroyers here. Most of us are too focused on trying to be happy and ‘believing in ourselves’ and some other crap. We don’t take action because we tell ourselves dumb made-up stories about how we’re not ‘that kind of person,’ or ‘I’m not sure I’m ready yet.’ Blah blah, blah.

Stop making everything about you. You’re getting in your way and it’s selfish. Instead, focus on creating a system that is biased toward straightforward action. Want to get fit? Stop blabbing on about your ‘issues,’ and create a step-by-step plan to get into the gym every day.

4. ‘Shoulding’

We naturally rebel — even if it’s unconsciously — against things we feel we should do that we don’t want to do. We say, ‘Oh, I should go outside and run more.’ So of course we resist and moan, and find excuses. We rebel against our own ‘shoulds’. And if we do find a way to get moving, we’re resentful.

That’s hardly a motivated state. Instead, we need to find a way to want to do something. This can be done in two ways: