10 Small Things That Instantly Make You More Popular With People

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group of young diverse friends

So, a lot of my writing is about things that happen to people. More specifically, I talk about why people are all kinds of f***ed today and why dating is so f***ed up.

But, a lot of my readers mentioned that I never talk about how to improve things aside from "Get therapy!"

Therapy is great, but you can do small things that can improve your life alongside it. These 10 things are superb for improving your social life — and maybe helping your emotional wellness along the way.

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Here are 10 small things that will instantly make you more popular with people:

1. Telling someone you appreciate them

If you are still in contact with your family, the best thing you can do is start nurturing your relationship with your relatives.

Give Mom (or Dad, or Aunt Greta, or Gram Gram) a call, and tell them how much they mean to you.

Your relatives are always going to appreciate a call from you. Even if it’s just to catch up, you will feel better and also bond. You’d be surprised at how relaxing a call can be.

2. Give someone a genuine compliment

I try to do this at least twice a day. Seriously, it’s amazing and it often helps open up a line of communication. 

When complimenting a person, compliment their actions rather than their looks. People have more control over their actions than their looks.

Oh, and make sure that the compliment you give is something you truly feel. You would be surprised at how well people take to being complimented and how great you will feel afterward.

3. Attend a gym class of your choice or join a sporting group of your choice

So, I’ve noticed that most people tend to bond over physical activities. For the most part, I’m not the type of person who bonds with others over sports or anything physical.

I don’t bond about physical stuff. It’s just not me — unless you talk about hula hooping or dancing. Then I’m a beast who loves to hit the mat. That’s basically my life, right there.

However, I’m going to put this up here because gymming is a good move for most people. Besides, burning calories makes you feel better. It’s a natural effect.

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4. If you can, get a dog or a cat

It’s true. Women tend to approach men walking dogs more frequently than men who are walking alone. But, this isn’t about how having a pet can give you a better shot at getting a cutie’s number.

Having a pet can help you bond with people by reducing your stress and reminding you of the fact that relationships are a give-and-take. In order to be good in a relationship of any sort, you need to give something — even if it’s pats and a treat.

Besides, animals won’t judge you on how you look or what shoes you wear. That is nicer than people, and it’s good to know you will have a little buddy in your corner.

5. Reach out to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while and arrange something

You would be surprised at how many people sometimes tend to wait for someone to reach out to them. Even if it is something as simple as a "hello," your reaching out means the world to most people.

Try to set up something, even if it is something as simple as grabbing coffee or doing lunch at that chic Thai place.

The more you hang out with people, the closer you guys become.

If they say no, don’t be too upset. As long as this is not a pattern, it’s safe to say they may be a bit busy with life.

6. Write a letter of support to someone who needs it

Did you know that there are multiple organizations that let you connect with other people through the art of letter writing? Many of them are devoted to offering encouraging letters to people who are in dire straits.

It’s true. Letters that you can hold in your hand are amazing because they offer you a physical way to see that someone cares about you. Besides, you can get creative and add artwork to them.

Pen pals are awesome, man.

7. Volunteer somewhere

It is very hard to meet adults when you are older, which is why volunteering is becoming more popular than ever. Admittedly, I’ve found a lot of volunteers to be very sanctimonious, but that doesn’t mean all of them are.

Doing good has a strong statistical link to feeling good. In a lot of ways, saving others can help you save yourself from loneliness.

My suggestion would be to volunteer for groups in your community that deal with things that matter to you.

For example, I’ve volunteered to help set up outlaw raves. (Okay, not exactly humanitarian, but whatever.)

You could be interested in botany and volunteer at the local garden. Or, you could put gaming skills to good use at a local game tourney.

RELATED: 15 Ways To Improve Your Social Skills (And Be Less Awkward Around People You Like)

8. Cut off people who make you feel bad or have repeatedly rejected you

One of the most toxic habits I get when I am lonely is to continue to try to convince people who reject me that they’ll like me eventually. I am one of those people who will argue with you and say, "Just give me a try! I’m awesome!"

Honestly? This has gotten me nothing but abusers and users in my circles.

Walking away from them without a word and learning to show them what they’re missing out through hearsay, on the other hand, helped me grow.

Stop watering the garden that’s filled with weeds. Weeds don’t need to be watered. Start watering the one that’s filled with roses in need of water.

9. Block the sites that make you angry at particular groups of people

The internet has a magical way of encouraging us to rage and hate others. I mean it. It’s actually wild how hateful you can become from doom-scrolling or taking in toxic propaganda.

If you noticed that you’ve started to feel angrier and angrier after reading certain forums or news sites, do your mental health a favor and block them from your browsers. I mean it. This rage comes out when you socialize. It will help long term.

When I blocked certain sites, my blood pressure lowered. 'Nuff said.

10. Work on being a better person, and stop waiting for others to bend to your expectations

One of the hardest things to do is to hit the pause button and ask yourself if you honestly were the nicest person to others.

Ask yourself, would Mr. Rogers do this? If I showed my parents my actions, would they approve? How would I feel if someone behaved the way I treated others to me?

Ask yourself how you would feel if your little sister or mother was treated the way you treat others. Are you okay with that?

A little introspection goes a long, long way when it comes to developing social skills. So does dropping your ego and reading up on how to make better moves.

I’ve done this, and it can be hard at first. However, it does get easier.

It isn’t the easiest one on this list, but when you stop defending yourself and start working on being a better person, life becomes nicer to you.

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. 

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.