5 Simple Psychology Secrets To Instantly Understand What People Are Thinking
You don't need mind-reading powers to decode people — just a little psychology.
Marcel Strauss | Unsplash It’s hard to know what people are thinking when you talk to them. Determining whether or not they have a genuine interest in what you are saying is no small feat. Whether you know it or not, your mind, both conscious and subconscious, is constantly trying to determine what people think.
You use your intuition to read minds all day, every day. Without noticing, you take in things like body language, expressions, and words in an effort to guess what people are feeling and what their actions or reactions will be. Reading minds is one of the most beneficial psychic abilities you can possess. And with time, patience, and dedication, you can build those skills to help you better understand the people around you.
As a matter of fact, studies have shown that human beings use two strategies to figure out and anticipate the conduct of others: mind reading and behavior reading. Awareness and practice can both be life-changing.
To truly hone your ability to read the minds of other people, you will need to utilize mindfulness, pay close attention to your surroundings, and be able to "read the room." One TikToker by the name of Max shared a few psychology tricks you can use right now to start improving your mind-reading skills and see people for who they really are.
Here are 5 simple psychology secrets to instantly understand what people are thinking:
1. Notice how they mirror you
According to Max, when conversing with someone, cross your arms while talking. “If they cross their arms, too, it means they’re interested in the conversation. They are open and receptive,” he says. From a scientific perspective, this is called limbic synchrony, or being in sync. Psychologically, mirroring is something we do with people we are fond of or are interested in. Mirroring is a way of showing empathy in a nonverbal way and a signal that we are connected with someone. Nerves called mirror neurons are responsible for our mimicking behavior.
Intuitive coach Ronnie Ann Ryan explained that mirroring is a subconscious behavior that often happens when someone feels connected or is attracted to another person, and it signifies a desire to build rapport and appear more aligned with you. These subtle mimics reveal that someone is truly engaged in your conversation and feels a genuine connection with you.
2. Notice if/how they fidget
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The next way to determine what someone is thinking is by noticing their fidgeting.“For dudes, they usually start fidgeting and touch their faces. For girls, they usually start adjusting their clothes, their jewelry, or start touching their necks,” Max says.
He doesn’t go on to explain what fidgeting means in the video, but there is a lot you can imply from it. In psychology, fidgeting is associated with a lack of attention, boredom, restlessness, or discomfort. It is the body’s way of trying to stay engaged, so if the other person is fidgeting, they may not be into you or what you are saying.
But before you jump to that conclusion, you should also know that fidgeting can denote stress or anxiety if the conversation or situation is intense. You may not be the problem after all.
3. Notice if they excessively nod
No one will ever agree with every single word you say. “Excessive nodding” is a strong indication that the person you are speaking with is “having anxiety about what you think about them.”
Max adds, "They think that you're either judging them in some way, or they think you doubt their ability to follow instructions." Now, occasional subtle nodding when speaking with someone shows that you are attentive and in agreement, but overdoing it can make you appear insecure and unsure of who you are.
According to therapist Dr. Gloria Brame, highly intelligent listeners don't rely on approving head nods or disapproving eye-rolls and frowns when responding to others. When you are a person of high intelligence, you're not reacting with knee-jerk or dramatic responses to what people tell you, which helps them stay focused on what they want to say instead of being manipulated by your signals.
Also, be aware that in some cultures, such as Japanese, a head nod is simply used to show understanding, but not necessarily agreement. It means you are connected and heard.
4. Notice how they point their feet
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Another TikToker shared an interesting perspective on what people do with their feet when they enter the room. In his video, he shares that, “If people start pointing their feet toward you, you’re welcome into that group.” They are giving you their attention and letting you know that you matter.
On the other hand, “If you walk into a group of people and people are not pointing their feet at you and nothing has changed and no one’s body is facing toward you, you’re probably not welcome or invited into that group.” Psychologically, people point their feet in the direction they want to go. If you’re talking to someone and their feet are pointed in your direction, they are interested and engaged.
5. Notice the way they blink
Another TikToker claims, “You can read somebody’s mind just by looking at the way that they blink.” According to him, a normal person blinks six to eight times per minute. If they are blinking excessively or fast, they are either nervous, anxious, or lying to you. If they are not blinking at all, I hate to break it to you, but they’re a psycho.”
The last assertion is hilarious, but is there any truth to his hypotheses? It is correct that our blinking rate increases when we are stressed or nervous. However, it is not a clear indication of deception. A lack of eye contact might help diagnose lying. As for the “psycho” assessment, locking eyes with someone and not blinking means the opposite of averting our eyes. It means you are telling the truth. Mind-reading is simply the ability to pay attention to and interpret human behavior.
According to Dr. Jack Schafer, a former behavioral analyst with the FBI, liars believe that if they can maintain eye contact with you, you'll believe they're telling the truth, so they overcompensate by staring and blinking less. Instead of relying on a single indicator like blinking rate, the best way to determine if someone is telling you the truth is by comparing what a person says to objective facts.
Everyone can read minds. You just need to be open and receptive, focus on one person at a time, and pay close attention to their body language, words, and facial expressions.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
