The Art Of Clarity: 5 Simple Habits Of Naturally Clear-Minded People
They think calmly, so their decisions and their lives stay surprisingly simple.
Claudio Alba | Unsplash Sometimes, life presents us with tough choices. When we're clear about our core values, they become virtual no-brainers.
When you learn how to discover — or rediscover — what you care about most, you can make wise decisions while honoring who you are and what you believe. Your values become the foundation on which you can build a vision that moves you forward to become the best version of yourself.
So, how do you discover clarity regarding your core values? The first step is to prepare yourself for a period of self-reflection. Set aside time to sit quietly, without distractions, and open a journal or a pad of paper, and think about the following things.
Here are 5 simple habits of naturally clear-minded people:
1. They think about who they admire
List five to 10 people you admire most. Describe in detail what characteristics you admire in them and why that’s important to you. Then, circle or highlight the characteristics you already see in yourself.
Your list of most admired people can contain family, friends, and famous people — either living or deceased. For instance, you might admire Helen Keller or Malala because of their perseverance and tenacity in the face of adversity. You believe those are qualities required to become resilient in life, so you would like to embody more of both. See how that works?
2. They remember times when they were happiest or most confident
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Step back in time and recall the instances when you felt happy, proud of yourself, or confident. Be as specific as you can when remembering dates, places, people, and circumstances. Think about what you cared about most at that time, and write about that.
One study showed that a strong positive memory bias is associated with optimism, resilience, and adaptive coping strategies. Actively recalling positive memories is a successful emotion regulation strategy for healthy individuals.
3. They make a list of all the values they hold dear
Some people may not be quite sure where to start. They might gravitate to common values, such as integrity, respect, trust, or freedom. But there are so many more. So, get a list going to help get the creative juices flowing, and open your mind to more possibilities.
When faced with difficult decisions, your core values provide a reliable guide and reduce confusion by clarifying what truly matters to you. This inner compass helps you make intentional, values-based choices instead of simply reacting to external pressures, one study found.
4. They live by those values
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We live by many values, and they can all change over time as our circumstances change. Generally speaking, there are several that remain constant, regardless of the situation. Work toward finding those.
As you group like values together, find a word that describes the group. This will become the value you place at the top of that group. For instance, let’s say one group is comprised of honesty, truth, and trustworthiness, so you label the group as "Trust." You will likely end up with 10 to 12 groups.
5. They know what they truly value
Use four categories to create a priority ranking:
- Essential
- Very important
- Sometimes important
- Not important
The goal is to reserve the "Essential" group for your top five core values that are the non-negotiables. Drop the group’s label into the appropriate category until you've prioritized all the groups.
Remember, you're thinking about what you care about most today and moving forward — not what might have been influential in the past. If trust is one of your overriding values, put that into the "Essential" category.
If you have more than five in your "Essential" category, take a more in-depth look. Ask yourself why each value is essential, and move the ones that are very important over to that group. Having more than five in the "Essential" category can make decisions harder.
When you have completed these activities, you will have a decision-making checklist. The next time you have a choice to make, bump the options against your top five values.
If one choice honors more than three and the other choice does not, you have a no-brainer decision. And it's one that you can feel confident about. Go back for a moment and consider the example of choosing to attend your daughter’s recital versus working with your mentor that weekend.
"Family first" is one of your top-five values in the "Essential" category. "Creativity "is sitting in the "Very important" group. Although you may have some angst over giving up the creative weekend, disappointing your daughter would make you feel worse. When you honor your family first, you set the example for everyone that you are walking your talk. Values in action reveal great character.
I love what Mike Rowe, host of the TV show Dirty Jobs, said: "Happiness comes from knowing what you truly value and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs."
María Tomás-Keegan is a certified career and life coach for women, transition expert, and founder of Transition & Thrive with María.
