6 Quiet Signs You’re An Ambitious Person Whose Outgrown Being A Hard Worker
It turns out that being ambitious and being a hard worker are two very different things.
cottonbro studio | Pexels In our culture, we’re conditioned to be hard workers because it’s supposed to be what makes us successful. And, of course, success is prized above all else. But, as you commit more and more to your work, there’s a chance that you’ll begin to feel like that’s no longer the thing you should be living for. Some people outgrow the idea that their life revolves around being a hard worker who is constantly productive and achieving the next great thing.
Anna Wojtowicz, a high-performance healer, has been on this journey herself. She was once the worker who did everything possible to check off to-do lists and accomplish goals, before she worked to overcome that. She came to realize that there are some people who are very ambitious, but they’ve moved beyond and outgrown being hard workers. In a TikTok post, she shared some signs that this is happening in your own life.
Here are 6 quiet signs you’re an ambitious person who has outgrown being a hard worker:
1. You’re loyal to yourself
Jorge Fakhouri Filho | Pexels
One of the biggest signs that you’re ambitious but really no longer a hard worker is that you are completely loyal to yourself and put yourself first in all situations. Wojtowicz explained that it is possible to still be committed to doing a good job at whatever you tackle because you’re ambitious, but you no longer put that work before yourself because you’ve outgrown being a hard worker. You are your top priority now.
“People tend to define loyalty by what it is not (for example, not being betrayed, cheated on, or abandoned), but loyalty is much more than the absence of mistreatment,” clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, said. Instead, loyalty is being supportive and trustworthy no matter what comes. We typically think of loyalty as being something we give to someone else, but we can give it to ourselves as well. When you choose to put yourself first and put your own needs ahead of something else, like a project, you’re being loyal to yourself.
Showing yourself loyalty instead of being loyal to the hard work and the things you need to get done is proof that you’re ambitious, but you’ve outgrown being a hard worker. Instead, you’re putting yourself first, which is always okay to do.
2. You don’t abandon yourself to reach goals
“So when you are loyal to yourself first, instead of just being a hard worker as your identity, yes, you’re convicted and committed and courageous, which is your work ethic,” Wojtowicz shared. “But the identity part that switches is now that you are no longer willing to self-abandon and betray parts of you in order to achieve your dream life.” There may have been a time when you were willing to leave yourself behind in the pursuit of being the best, hardest worker possible, but that’s not you anymore.
Instead, you are true to yourself through and through. And it’s a good thing that you are. Licensed clinical social worker Sharon Martin explained, “Self-abandonment is a self-destructive pattern that can contribute to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and unfulfilling relationships.” Self-abandonment is a very problematic behavior that can wound you deeply. Choosing yourself is not selfish. Rather, it’s a much healthier choice.
Some people leave themselves behind when they’re trying to reach a certain goal, or just when they try to reach goals in general. Doing this is harmful and sends the internal message that you are less important than hard work, which isn’t true. People who realize this are ambitious, but they are over doing the hard work.
3. You can’t just push through to get the hard things done
Kaboompics.com | Pexels
According to Wojtowicz, when you’re ambitious but have outgrown being a hard worker, accomplishment just doesn’t feel the same as it used to. “It kind of feels like something’s always missing,” she said. That’s because your entire worth and identity no longer rest in being a hard worker, so you see no point in pushing through to complete the task at all costs. Instead, you actually see how doing so was hurting you.
Clinical psychologist Melanie A. McNally, PsyD, explained, “Grit is our ability to stick with things, even when they become difficult.” This sounds like a good thing, and it usually is. However, she pointed out that there’s such a thing as having too much grit and just pushing through when you really shouldn’t. People who are ambitious will find that they no longer have the ability to push through, no matter what. Because they’ve given up their identity as a hard worker, they don’t reach those goals at any and all costs anymore.
4. You’re not on autopilot
Wojtowicz compared hard workers to “a vending machine of productivity, where you push a button and out comes a piece of content and a to-do list task.” We’ve all seen someone who just keeps producing good work repeatedly, like they truly are on autopilot, not even having to think it through. While it can be helpful to get into this flow state sometimes when working on something hard or lengthy, remaining on autopilot is no way to live life.
“The clinical term for autopilot mode is ‘cognitive disengagement,’” psychotherapist Keven Duffy, LCSW, shared. “Nearly all of us have fallen into it at some point in our lives: It’s what happens when we stop making conscious, intentional choices and instead operate on routines, habits and external expectations.” As Duffy pointed out, autopilot can be helpful sometimes, like when you’re completing a “familiar task” you’re used to. But living your entire life that way in an effort to get as much work done as possible isn’t worth it.
People who are ambitious but have outgrown being hard workers no longer live their lives on autopilot. They’re fully conscious of what they’re doing and how it’s affecting them. Because of this, they’re able to be more present and devote time to where their ambitions carry them.
5. You find power in yourself instead of data
Andrea Piacquadio | Pexels
When you’re a hard worker, it’s easy to get caught up in the numbers and let them define not only your success, but who you are as a person as well. Wojtowicz said that is not the way to go. “Loyalty looks like trusting your intuition and having a deep sense of trust and safety with yourself first, versus automatically abandoning and giving power to data, the metrics, things that your survival-based ambition trained you to feel like that is where all of your safety lies.”
It’s easy to believe that your worth is defined by a number. So often, when working, we look at metrics as evidence of how well our work is performing and let that determine our success. This isn’t the right perspective to have, though. If you’ve outgrown being a hard worker, you likely see right through these numbers and know that your identity could never come from something so simple. There’s much more to you than that.
6. You’re successful but not hustling
If you’re ambitious, you’re probably going to be successful. It just comes with the territory. That doesn’t mean you have to give in to the hustle culture that plagues the world today, though. When you’re still stuck in the identity of being a hard worker, Wojtowicz said, you’re likely to claim that’s who you are. For example, if someone asks about your success, you would attribute it to being a hard worker, like that’s what you’re made of. “That’s not who you are,” she assured.
Nick Srnicek, a professor of digital economy at King’s College London, told the BBC, “Hustle culture ideology says that people are overworking not because they’re economically driven to, but simply because this is the way go-getters get what they want.” If you’re ambitious but over being a hard worker, you know that hustle culture isn’t worth it. You don’t let achievement take over your life anymore and try to make it your sign of self-worth.
There’s a big difference between being ambitious and being a hard worker. Being ambitious doesn’t mean you have a bad work ethic. Rather, it means that you are still committed to doing well, but you don’t let work take over your life. It no longer defines your identity or self-worth. That’s an incredibly liberating feeling.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
