The Science Of Good Vibes: 4 Simple Habits Of People Everyone Loves Being With
Natali Hordiiuk | Unsplash While we try not to judge a book by its cover, sometimes 'good vibes' are all we have to go on. The way that a person walks, talks, and moves can speak volumes to their character and ultimately be a deciding factor in whether or not you choose to approach them. Is your body language sending the right type of vibe to the world?
Here are 4 simple habits of people with good vibes that everyone loves being with:
1. They bring bright, optimistic energy to the room
Have you ever gone out of your way to speak with someone who frowns, scowls, or consistently makes a "stink face?" Chances are the answer is no. Your smile says a lot about you as a person because when a person smiles, it generally means that they are happy and confident in who they are as a person. Having an inviting smile is a powerful tool that not only lets people know that you are approachable but also allows you to flirt and communicate your likes and/or dislikes without saying a word.
A smile actually changes how others read your entire personality. A study in the European Journal of Social Psychology showed that smiling increased someone's perceived attractiveness and that smiling subjects were seen as more sincere, sociable, and competent.
2. They carry themselves with confidence
Dmytro Sheremeta / Shutterstock
Most people don't even know the image they are projecting when they are standing around or even just walking on the street. For example, slumpers tend to look lazy, insecure, and scared of the world around them. People who walk at a slow pace are typically more laid back but very detail-oriented, while speed walkers tend to be more impatient and distracted.
Then you have the stompers, who tend to be attention-seekers. They are often demanding and can be slightly unapologetic when it comes to the feelings of the people who surround them. People who walk very softly tend to be overly considerate and go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
Make it a point to stand up straight and walk tall. The key is to find that balance and understand how your body moves so you can control the messages you are sending out. Just a warning, though: don't overdo it. You want to appear calm, cool, and collected. Too much control will make you look like a robot. Nobody likes a stick in the mud.
An Ohio State University study found that people who were told to sit up straight were more likely to believe in themselves, while slumped participants weren't convinced by their own positive self-assessments. As one researcher explained, "our posture can affect not only what others think about us, but also how we think about ourselves."
3. They avoid talking too fast
Don't be a motor mouth. Talking too fast is not only confusing to the person on the receiving end, but it also shows that you may not be putting a lot of thought into what you're saying.
Try to speak at a steady pace and practice finding the rhythm in your words. Don't forget to watch your breathing. When you are engaging, it's okay to pause now and then, because it shows that you are thoughtful, intelligent, and mean what you say. This also allows you to choose your words wisely.
A study analyzing customer service calls found that speaking more slowly makes communicators seem more empathetic, while a brief pause while speaking can be used to convey thoughtfulness and represents the careful crafting of words or phrases.
4. They talk with their hands
ShotPrime Studio / Shutterstock
Learn how to incorporate your hands into your communication. Try not to fidget or use shaky movements. Relax and use fluid motions to express and emphasize certain words during the conversation. It shows your counterpart that you know how to express yourself and feel comfortable in doing so.
Again, find the balance in the movement, as too much will make you look more frantic than you may be comfortable with. Give it a shot, and see how it works for you. Need some help? Try this action challenge: Ask a friend to do an honest imitation of you. This will give you an idea as to how others see you and allow you to make changes in areas you wish to improve.
If you don't have a friend whom you can trust to do this, or just do not feel comfortable asking for some help with this, you can also do it for yourself. Jump in front of a mirror and evaluate yourself in these four areas. When learning how to be more confident, be honest with yourself and play around with some of these ideas to figure out what works best for you.
J. Cameron Gantt is a dating expert and head dating coach at Instigaytor, a Chicago-based LGBT matchmaking agency.
