The Science Of Being Tough: 4 Simple Habits Of People Who Don’t Immediately Assume Mercury Is In Retrograde
Salvador Escalante | Unsplash Some people seem to have an unshakable steadiness about them. When plans fall apart or life throws a curveball, they don't spiral into blame mode or start blaming it on astrology. They just handle it.
Research shows that people with this mindset tend to experience less depression and anxiety and bounce back faster from setbacks. Luckily, mental toughness isn't a fixed trait you either have or don't — it's a collection of habits anyone can build.
Here are five simple habits of people who don’t immediately assume Mercury is in retrograde:
1. They find their cause
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I'd say less than 1% of people know their cause. What are you fighting? What lies do you see in society, in others, in yourself? Call that stuff out, and bring it into your life mission. Finding this is how I begin all my training and coaching — it’s fundamental.
Because when we have an enemy to fight, our dragon awakens, and we become ten times as effective in the world. Fear becomes an afterthought. People with a strong sense of meaning tend to be mentally tougher, and it's not hard to see why, research confirms. Purpose acts as a kind of buffer, helping us bounce back faster when life gets difficult. When you're working toward something bigger than yourself, challenges start to look less like roadblocks and more like just part of your personal journey.
2. They don't give anyone the power to shape their self-worth
The concept of ‘self-esteem’ is an illusion, in my opinion. It’s made up. So is ‘self-worth.’ Do you see that? It’s an idea — a thought. As such, no one in the history of mankind has ever had the power to lower someone else’s self-esteem. You are indestructible this way. Be kind, but don’t limit yourself to avoid a harsh word from someone — they can’t hurt you.
When your sense of worth depends on things outside yourself, like your job title, your follower count, or whether people clap after your presentation, you stop making decisions based on what you actually want. You start making them based on what will get you the approval you're chasing.
Researchers have found that people who tie their self-esteem to specific areas of life end up on an emotional roller coaster, constantly trying to prove themselves and living or dying by other people's opinions.
3. They practice until perfect
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I used to think I didn’t have the personality to be good at public speaking. Then I spoke hundreds of times. People then started telling me I was a talented public speaker. I had to laugh. I became good because I practiced. Practice increases our skill while diminishing fear. Repeat what you fear, even if it hurts to start. This is how to become fearless.
One study found that people who practiced public speaking for just 30 minutes walked away feeling less anxious and more confident. It makes sense when you think about how the more we face something frightening without disaster striking, the less power it holds over us.
4. They take small but calculated risks
Risks are not reckless unless you’re reckless. Risk invites opportunity. Risk is also tied to fear, for good reason — it points to the thing worth doing. Get into the habit of calculated risk-taking. Start small. Reveal something about you in an article. Send a voice note.
Start to see, feel, and taste the connection between risk-taking and opportunity — it’s highly correlated. Absorb these habits and bring them into your day. The world needs this from you.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
