Gen X & Boomers Come Off As Meaner Than Younger Generations For 7 Reasons
Gyorgy Barna | Shutterstock Younger generations appear to start experiencing serious stress earlier than their parents and grandparents did, but that doesn’t mean Gen Xers and baby boomers had it easy. Now that they're the parents and grandparents, they may seem mean, but a lot of that is out of concern.
They remember when the world seemed better. Kids were safe in schools and social media wasn't pulling people apart. They just want the world to be safe again.
Here are 7 reasons Gen X and boomers come off meaner than younger generations:
1. They crave their independence
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock.com
While Gen Zers were raised with overbearing parents and a convenience culture, many older generations had only the “figure it out yourself” mentality at home. They’re not mean. They’re just socialized in latchkey culture, forced to do things on their own and figure things out without relying on everyone around them for support and ease.
Even if it seems like they’re avoiding others at work or choosing not to keep other people in their families up-to-date on what’s going on in their lives, it’s actually just self-reliance at work. Of course, there’s a line where hyper-independence can become a problem as a trauma response, but most of the time, they’re just secure in their own abilities and strength.
2. They are exhausted by being peacemakers
Gen Xers are often the bridge between generations. They share values on both sides of the aisle, and end up being the peacemakers between younger generations like Gen Z and their boomer counterparts.
While it may not be the only reason why they’re categorized as the most stressed generation, it plays a role in their well-being. They’re tired of being the people who always end up in the middle of every argument and at home, Sometimes just want to exist in their independence peacefully.
3. They’re frustrated by how tech is changing people
Bearfotos | Shutterstock.com
Although they’ve adapted and grown to become experts in many different things throughout life, many Gen Xers and baby boomers can’t help but mourn their own offline childhoods and grieve the fact that kids today will never be able to go back to that. They look at the pain and anger coming off social media, and they feel helpless to change it.
While the world is getting angrier in many different ways, Gen Xers and boomers are especially angry about the negative effects of technology, because they know how valuable analog skills and a lack of technology were in their own early lives and adulthood.
5. They’re direct in ways younger generations can't imagine being
While younger generations today struggle with social skills and adopt more avoidant tendencies when conversations get uncomfortable, Gen Xers and boomers were taught to be more direct than kids today tend to be. Yes, it’s healthy to be direct, but to someone who’s used to ease and comfort all the time, it can come off as threatening or mean.
They weren’t guided by a parent who solved all their problems and handled all the hard conversations for them. They had to learn how to advocate for themselves and ask for what they needed. They do the same in adulthood, even if it feels uncomfortable. In reality, younger generations will probably grow into this level of honesty and directness, too.
6. They have zero tolerance for instant gratification habits
Gen Xers and baby boomers had to work hard for what they got. Their parents notoriously refused to play with them as kids, so they found ways to have fun and entertain themselves on their own or with neighborhood kids. When they look at kids today and see their learned helplessness with anything other than the instant gratification that comes from phones (or parents giving in to every request), they can't help but be worried.
They’re not necessarily mean, but they are regularly frustrated by the state of the world. It’s such a direct contrast between the experiences and struggles they faced growing up, and even more frustrating with the adult perspective they have now, understanding just how necessary discomfort was for their growth.
7. They weren't taught emotional self-awareness
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock.com
While Gen Xers are collectively more open than their boomer counterparts, many still carry around a ton of mental health stigma. They still struggle wint internal pressure to suppress their struggles and emotions, even at their own expense. Not only does it take a toll on their health and well-being, but it leaves them feeling more reactive and emotionally unpredictable in daily life.
Without emotional self-awareness, they tend to avoid having to seek help or express these complicated emotions. This makes it hard to apologize when someone feels hurt, because they aren't comfortable with that level of introspection and accountability.
That doesn't mean that they wish to be crabby or even rude. So much of what makes them seem crabby comes from their concern for others. Maybe, once we really know that, it can help bridge the understanding gap between generations. And ultimately, not all Gen Xers and baby boomers are like this!
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
