Self

100 Deep Questions To Get To Know Yourself Much Better

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You've probably read a book or seen a movie where the main character goes on an epic journey to find themselves. It seems so glamorous, and despite some angst in the middle of the story, everything draws to a "happily ever after" by the end.

But if you’re waiting for your own epic trip to "find yourself," you're wasting precious time.

Because the answers aren’t hidden somewhere out there — you already have them deep within your heart and mind. All you have to do is ask yourself some soul-searching questions to get to know yourself in order to uncover the answers.

But before diving in, you have to be willing to be honest, vulnerable, and compassionate with yourself.

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If you find yourself wanting to change everything about your life right now, be patient with yourself. The idea of reinvention is seductive but unrealistic. Instead, choose a small area of your life you desire to shift.

As you read through these questions, pay attention to the ones that excite you or make you nervous. Noting your reaction to the questions is almost as important to the process of finding yourself as the answers themselves.

100 Best Questions To Get To Know Yourself

1. What questions should I be asking myself right now?

2. Are there questions I am avoiding asking myself?

3. Am I happy?

4. What do I need to be happy?

5. In what ways do I pretend to be happy?

6. How do I sabotage my own happiness?

7. What am I longing to experience?

8. What little white lies do I tell myself or other people? Why?

9. How can I make my daily life feel easier?

10. Other than time or money, what do I want more of in my life?

11. Am I using "being busy" as an excuse to hide from my own life?

12. What can I celebrate?

13. Where can I invest in myself?

14. What skills can I learn or strengthen?

15. How might I invest in my home, my life, my personal growth, or my happiness?

16. What small tweaks can I make to make my mornings feel less stressful and more nourishing?

17. What am I most grateful for in my daily life?

18. Do I secretly fantasize about running away from my life?

19. Is striving for perfection secretly destroying my sense of self?

20. Is trying to have it all causing me to feel inadequate?

21. What would be worth trying or pursuing, even if I fail?

22. What do I need to let go of?

23. What old beliefs am I holding onto?

24. What old stories am I constantly thinking about?

25. Where do I need to forgive myself?

26. In what ways am I numbing myself and checking out of my own life?

27. Am I drinking or shopping excessively?

28. Am I using food as comfort?

29. Am I over-exercising or always busy?

30. What do I want less of in my life?

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31. What are the ways I keep myself silent?

32. What gifts, talents, or passions have I been hiding from myself?

33. How am I burying my gifts and hiding them from others?

34. How can I begin to engage with my gifts, talents, and passions more often?

35. Who do I desire to be in the world?

36. Am I staying in an unhealthy situation due to guilt or fear? What are the pros and cons of getting out or walking away from it?

37. Am I making choices in my life from a place of love or fear?

38. What relationships in my life feel toxic?

39. What relationships feel nourishing?

40. How can I better invest in nourishing relationships and spend less time/energy on toxic ones?

41. What am I avoiding and why?

42. Do I listen to my body when it’s tired/hungry/achy/begging for movement?

43. What is my body trying to tell me now?

44. What’s the worst thing that can happen if I choose to pursue [insert a specific goal or dream]? What’s the best thing that can happen?

45. What big goal am I secretly wanting to pursue?

46. What is stopping me from pursuing my goal?

47. What would my perfect day look and feel like?

48. Does success scare me?

49. In what ways might I be sabotaging myself because I’m afraid of succeeding?

50. In what areas of my life am I underestimating myself?

51. What assumptions am I making about [insert person’s name, a situation, a goal]? How are those assumptions keeping me from what I desire?

52. What’s missing from my life? What can I do to get it?

53. What physical things do I desire in my life?

54. What is my happiest memory?

55. What is one thing I haven't done in a long time that I wish I did more often?

56. What areas of my life am I proud of?

57. What are my long-term goals right now?

58. What is my proudest accomplishment?

59. Do I surround myself with successful people?

60. Do I feel lost in life? Why?

61. Am I living the life I imagined I would be?

62. What is my biggest failure in life so far?

63. Do I identify as an introvert or an extrovert?

64. What are my short-term goals?

65. What is the best piece of advice I have received in life?

66. Who is the one person I can't live without?

67. Who is my role model?

68. What do I value most in life?

69. What do I do for fun when I'm bored?

70. Where do I feel completely safe?

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71. What do my dreams tell me?

72. Am I more of a morning person or a night person?

73. Are a glass half full or a glass half empty person?

74. What would make my life more meaningful?

75. If I only had one day left to live, what would I do?

76. What would I go back and change about my life if time travel was an option?

77. What would I say to my younger self?

78. What is one thing I believe I will never do or have the chance to do and why?

79. If I died today what would I regret not doing?

80. Do I allow myself to celebrate my accomplishments?

81. Am I ashamed of anything in my life?

82. What is the best gift I ever received from someone?

83. What is the one song that always makes me smile when I feel low?

84. What do I miss most at this point in my life?

85. What do I think would make my life easier?

86. What is the first thing I would do if I won the lottery?

87. What is the nicest thing I have ever done for someone else?

88. What makes me feel loved?

89. Have I ever been in love? What does it feel like?

90. What is one problem in the world I want to solve?

91. What do I hope to leave behind when I die?

92. Do I feel guilty when I put my needs over others?

93. When was the last time I laughed?

94. What do I look for in a relationship?

95. What is my love language?

96. Do I blame my family for anything in my life?

97. Do I want to have children?

98. What is my superpower in life?

99. What is one secret I will take to my grave?

100. What is the one compliment that I always want to hear?

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Debra Smouse is a life coach and author whose work has been published in TIME, Huffington Post, MSN, Psychology Today, and more.

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