8 Psychological Signs You’re Being Spiritually Manipulated By Your Church
It might feel like faith, but it's actually control.
See Plus | Unsplash With the continuing rise of mega churches and preachers for profit, the likelihood of religious brainwashing will continue to be a concern. Religion itself is based on faith. It requires you to believe in things that are unseen, taking those beliefs at face value and without question. Of course, the inability to be skeptical about anything you’ve heard leaves the doors open for groupthink, and peer pressure not to go against the grain.
There are many benefits to religion. Research in the field of neurotheology has shown that religious practices can increase life span and help people cope with disease. Some of the science even suggests that the brain reacts the same way to religion as it does to paraphernalia, giving partakers a temporary high. The need to maintain this “high” can lead to brainwashing. So, how do you know whether you are simply a faithful believer, or if your church is trying to brainwash you? Here are some of the warning signs of religious brainwashing.
Here are 8 psychological signs you’re being spiritually manipulated by your church:
1. You are isolated
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Most abuse or brainwashing starts with separating you from family members and friends. The isolation can be physical, mental, social, or emotional. The isolation is not overt. It’s creating a sense that the people you know don’t understand you. The idea is to remove you from people who might question what is going on and make you dependent on your religious "family" only.
Due to the isolation, you may have been separated from the people you love. Get in touch with them and pick up where you left off. Be transparent about your experience so they can support you. Talk to people with other points of view without judgment. You may meet people who are going through the same thing and connect with them. Be careful to avoid getting sucked into a new religion by people with bad intentions.
2. Challenges and debate are not tolerated
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Most religions have principles and rules that must be followed without exception. But in healthy settings, parishioners can discuss their doubts and openly challenge things that give them pause.
In dysfunctional religious settings, debates and doubts are shut down. If you are not careful, your doubts can get you labeled as a blasphemer, accused of questioning God.
Studies show that members of such groups are frequently made to feel like they're "the crazy one" for having doubts or questions, a manipulation tactic that isolates them from their own judgment. Healthy spiritual communities recognize that doubt and questioning are natural parts of faith development, creating space for members to explore their uncertainties without fear of punishment or exclusion.
3. You must follow without question
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During religious brainwashing, followers are encouraged to follow what they are told. Just as challenges are unacceptable, lack of conformity is not tolerated. Free thinking is frowned upon when brainwashing is in effect. If you are following guidelines and don’t understand why you do it, you may have been brainwashed.
The first step in reversing religious brainwashing is to get away from the institution you’ve been indoctrinated into. It is impossible to start to heal without creating distance. Instead of listening to the teachings blindly, read the scriptures on your own. Interpret the words from your own perspective and decide on what speaks to you. Knowledge is power, and studying on your own is the ultimate empowerment.
4. The consequences of going against the status quo are harsh
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If there are big repercussions for going against your religion, you may be a victim of religious brainwashing. Life is full of consequences for your actions, so some should be expected. But if deviation from the rules leads to exile from the community, termination of relationships, violence, or death, you have been brainwashed and no longer have agency over your body or your life.
When someone is shunned, even threatened with the possibility of being shunned, they activate the same area of the brain that registers physical pain. Research demonstrates that shunning has a long-term, detrimental effect on mental health, job possibilities, and life satisfaction.
5. Non-believers are your sworn enemy
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No matter what your beliefs are, infringing on other people’s freedom of religion is a clue that you may be a victim of religious brainwashing. If you find yourself arguing with people about their own beliefs on social media, or keeping anyone who doesn’t share your ideas at bay, you have been given an "us against them" mindset.
Creating this division gives believers a sense of exclusivity and makes them feel special. The view that outsiders are the enemy puts members in a silo where only one school of thought is allowed.
6. You become a minion
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Losing your sense of individuality and forgetting who you are as a person are other signs of religious brainwashing. If your personal decisions are no longer yours, you are in an unhealthy relationship with religion. Rules that dictate your life choices — such as what clothing to wear, who you can be around, your hobbies and interests, and even what you say and how you say it — are not normal.
When a church dictates personal choices like clothing, social relationships, hobbies, and even communication style, these are control mechanisms designed to erode your sense of self. Mental health professionals who work with religious trauma survivors consistently observe that individuals struggle with dissociation and identity confusion after leaving, describing it as "loss of personal autonomy and uncertainty about who they are outside the group."
If this is happening to you, it's important to rediscover your likes and interests. Focus on doing things that make you happy and whole. Learn to set boundaries so you don’t fall into the same trap in the future.
7. You put religion over everything
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Have you checked out from everything that is not connected to your religion? Are friends and family no longer a priority or concern in your life? You may be brainwashed. Dysfunction and disagreement in families are normal. But if your lifestyle has changed and you are passing on family gatherings and check-ins in favor of your new religion, it’s time to re-analyze your life.
Whether it's a professional specializing in deprogramming or a therapist who focuses on trauma, don't be afraid to seek out help. You can also visit websites like Recovering From Religion for additional resources. There is no set length of time it will take to begin to feel a sense of normalcy, but undoing the damage can be difficult. Your recovery will depend on how long you were subjected to religious brainwashing.
8. You only care about your religious goals
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For most religious people who are not brainwashed, it is perfectly normal to want to go to heaven. There is nothing wrong with following the values you believe will get you there. However, if you have put everything else in your life on hold to only focus on your religious enlightenment, you may be brainwashed. Like everything else, religion should be balanced with all other areas of your life.
Research on spiritual wellness emphasizes that neglecting one's professional responsibilities, personal relationships, or self-care in favor of religious activities can lead to burnout, financial instability, and a profound lack of fulfillment. While pursuing spiritual growth is healthy and meaningful, professionals stress that balancing faith with family obligations, career, and personal well-being is essential for leading a fulfilling life.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
