Women Who Analyze Their Emotions Instead Of Actually Feeling Them Usually Say 6 Phrases On Repeat
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock I’ve struggled with my mental health ever since I was little. I’ve spent years in therapy, talking with professionals about the best ways to change my behavior. I then had to work on figuring out why I had those bad behaviors and what experiences from my past made me form them.
Since I started therapy so young, I’ve grown up analyzing my emotions with professionals. It’s the main way I’ve learned to deal with my emotions. Still, when you only handle your emotions by looking at them analytically, it can stop you from truly feeling them. And when you don’t feel your emotions, it can be hard to figure out how to handle them.
Phrases women who analyze their emotions instead of feeling them repeatedly say:
1. 'I’ve been talking to my therapist…'
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There are some people out there who use therapy as a crutch. They might rely exclusively on their therapist to help them analyze and understand their emotions.
Therapists are professionals, so they do have more information than you on why humans experience these emotions. Still, everyone experiences emotions differently because none of us has had the exact same experiences. You are the true expert on how you are feeling because you are the only one who knows exactly what's going on in your head.
When you rely too heavily on basic catch-all advice, it might not help with your exact experience. You might be able to come up with advice that's more applicable to your life by personally reflecting on your emotions. By combining your reflections and the therapist's advice, you can craft the best outcome for your emotional well-being.
2. 'I just bought another therapy workbook'
There are many types of therapy exercises. Some therapists recommend using mind mapping to explore your subconscious thoughts. Others might recommend making a tier list to see which things make you feel happier and which make you feel worse.
Sometimes, these exercises are collected in workbooks. Some therapists will recommend these books so people can choose which exercises work for them. When people focus too much on these exercises, they can end up hurting more than they help.
In some cases, people use these workbooks as a kind of defense mechanism. They might focus on the exercises to avoid feeling their emotions. They could be afraid of getting hurt again by whatever made them turn to the therapy workbooks. However, putting these exercises into practice can be more helpful than analyzing and re-analyzing past emotions.
3. I thought I was feeling this, but now I know better
Sometimes our emotions can be misleading. Maybe a friend insulted us, and we think we feel angry. We might actually just be sad that they spoke to us that way.
Not everyone understands this. It can take some people years to grasp the complexity behind their emotions. A person who is analytical of their emotions probably reaches this conclusion a little bit sooner. They have thought through emotions enough to analyze them.
This understanding could confuse someone if they rely on the idea that they have hidden emotions. They might overanalyze the reason behind their emotions and decide they’re actually feeling something else. If they move past the thing that is really making them upset, they probably won’t be able to work through it.
4. 'I’ve been doing some research'
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Psychology is a scientific field focused on analyzing human emotion. There have been so many innovations in the field over the last century. Scientists have published thousands of articles explaining why particular things make our brains tick.
Sometimes, an emotion can be really overwhelming, and we might not understand why it’s affecting us so much. People can use research published by psychologists to become more aware of their feelings. Some people think that looking at things from a researched perspective makes the information more true.
This is true to an extent, but it’s hard to talk about truth when handling your emotions. Feelings aren’t always rational, and trying too hard to rationalize them could be a waste of time.
5. 'I’ve learned so much about myself this week'
Identifying your problems is only half the battle. Just because you recognize what emotions you’re feeling doesn’t mean you get rid of them. You usually have to actually do something about them to work through them.
Some people get stuck focusing on identifying their emotions. They might do this to give themselves and their friends the impression that they’re working through their problems. Still, this might actually be a way for them to avoid doing the hard work.
While having those aha moments in therapy can be helpful, focusing solely on reflection can hold you back. When we feel we observe our actions too closely, we frequently try to change our behavior. This makes some people force themselves to act how they think they should instead of how they really want to. Too much reflection can keep you from just feeling and living your life the way you want to.
6. 'I don’t understand why I keep feeling like this'
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Some people see understanding your emotions and analyzing your emotions as the same thing. That’s not entirely true, though. Knowing what you're feeling isn’t the same as having a list of evidence-based reasons that explain why you’re feeling that way.
People who say this usually follow up with a long explanation analyzing their past. They might try to connect all their negative emotions to experiences in their past. If they begin to get frustrated about not understanding their emotions, they might have already spent a lot of time analyzing them.
They might also say they wish their friend could understand how they were feeling. This might suggest that they want to share their overanalyzed explanation with them. But if a friend feels hurt by us, understanding the reason why we did it might not make them feel better.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
