People Who Cancel Plans & Never Feel Guilty Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet | Shutterstock Canceling plans is often looked down on, but in our time-poor society, anyone who prioritizes alone time without guilt pulls no punches when it comes to prioritizing their pleasure.
These folks might not tell you outright that they don't want to hang out with you, but the phrases they use in casual conversation suggest a kind of self-assurance and security with their choice to put themselves and how they spend their time first. It's admirable in a lot of ways even if you miss spending time with them.
Phrases people say when they have zero guilt over canceling plans:
1. ‘I’m just not up for it’
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Sometimes you just don't have the bandwidth to hang out, and that's totally okay. With zero guilt, these people will tell their friends they don't have it in them, and good friends understand. Wanting to protect personal energy and prioritize well-being isn’t a bad thing, and certainly isn’t something people should feel guilty about.
It’s not a crime to put yourself first. Good friends and family will understand when you need to rest instead of socializing.
2. ‘I know my limits’
If someone’s a true introvert, they know their limits when it comes to socializing. Whether it’s turning down an invitation to spend time together after a long day or anticipating a week with a lot going on, they’re careful about making social commitments to protect their energy.
Considering alone time and solitude away from people is how they recharge their social batteries, it's truly an act of self-care. They need the quiet and are intentional in making sure they have it, even if it means canceling longstanding plans.
3. ‘I’ll catch you next time’
Someone who says “I’ll catch you next time” is trying to spare others the disappointment of having to cancel plans, but that doesn't mean they feel guilty. In fact, it's very possible that they plan to follow through on a rain check.
They have consideration and care for other people, especially when they know canceling plans could hurt a friend's feelings. They don’t people-please or do things that come at the expense of their own well-being, but they will make an effort to apologize or be open when necessary.
4. ‘My couch is calling’
Sometimes, the people you can trust the most are the ones who don’t try to make up an elaborate excuse when they’re cancel on you. It’s not “I’m not feeling the best” or “I forgot I had to work,” when neither is true. It’s “my couch is calling” or “I had a rough day, and just need some time to decompress.”
As a study from Michigan State University noted, it's these kinds of people who don’t make up lies when they’re canceling plans that protect the well-being and trust of their relationships. They don’t harbor guilt at their own expense, because they’re not afraid to put themselves first and also don’t have to put in more effort to come up with a lie.
5. ‘I don’t owe you anything’
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com
In addition to the polite and honest ways someone might respond when they bail on plans, there’s another kind of person who doesn’t have guilt because of entitlement. They truly don’t believe they owe anyone in their lives anything, not even their friends and close loved ones.
There’s a difference between owing someone your presence and respecting someone else’s time. Especially if you’re consistently not showing up, something as cold as “I don’t owe you” doesn’t justify the behavior. In fact, it’s probably more destructive to the relationship than it might seem, even if it’s true.
6. ‘If they’re upset, that’s their issue’
When you shift blame onto someone else, you’re not actually apologizing or taking accountability. A healthy person who can't follow through doesn’t make excuses. They acknowledge someone else’s hurt and disappointment, especially when it stems from their own behavior.
However, someone who passes the buck onto another person for feeling upset can't see past their own entitlement. Generally, anyone who uses this phrase or the "I don't owe you" phrase is few and far between, and that's good because they likely aren't good friends, either.
7. ‘We’ll see how I feel’
Who hasn't used this excuse before? It's a kind way to say I can't fully commit, but in this moment I'd like to say I'll go. They know that their alone time is important and that they’re easily drained by the day, so committing to something in advance often feels like setting themselves up to fail.
Yes, it’s annoying sometimes to people who like a plan and commitment, but it’s their way of setting boundaries without having to worry about feeling guilty when someone’s disappointed at the last minute.
8. ‘I’m not sure what I’m doing that day’
GaudiLab | Shutterstock.com
While it might be true, people who often cancel plans may avoid making plans entirely by saying something like this. They’d prefer to keep their options open and avoid making solid plans, especially if they’re not one to plan things out days or weeks in advance.
Instead of hurting someone’s feelings when they have to cancel at the last minute, they take a more passive approach to social events and commitments.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
