11 Phrases That Offend An Average Person But Don’t Bother Highly Intelligent Minds At All
Words have meaning and consequences, both of which vary depending on who you are talking to.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock What we say to others requires thoughtfulness and consideration to make certain that the recipient doesn't feel as if we are attacking or demeaning them. At the same time, the truth is that there are some phrases that offend an average person but don't bother highly intelligent minds at all.
While the wrong phrasing can be seen as insensitive, negative, or offensive, creating unnecessary tension, the way that the average person interprets certain comments or phrases greatly differs from how highly intelligent minds process them. While a person of average intellect might be offended by directness or a perceived lack of tact, those of superior intellect know how to look past the words to understand the underlying message and intentions the person in question is trying to convey. It may not be your responsibility to figure out what anyone else wants to say, but not taking offense to phrases like those below shows grace to them and saves you unnecessary negative energy.
1. 'No offense, but... '
The funny thing about starting with this phrase is that it usually prepares a person to be offended. It's an indication that whatever comes next will definitely be offensive. The average person automatically puts up their defenses, unable to hear the message because they have already decided that no matter what is said, they will be offended.
Highly intelligent minds approach this phrase with curiosity. Rather than assuming they are about to be offended, they wait to see if the language is truly meant to create negative feelings or if there is value that can be taken from what is shared. If the highly intellectual do, in fact, become offended, they have no problem expressing that while still processing the related message and deciding what actions, if any, are necessary.
2. 'Can't you take a joke?'
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Arguably the worst form of gaslighting is when someone says something hurtful to you and pretends they were just joking. They might take a subject they know is sensitive to you and say things that are obviously inappropriate. The average person will take this affront as a reason to 'crash out', escalating the situation and engaging in a back-and-forth with the offender.
People of the highest intellect recognize an attempt to trigger them immediately. They hold their composure and don't allow the actions of others to control their emotions. Instead of striking back or becoming overly emotional, highly intelligent minds tell the proclaimed jokester that they don't find it funny. They explain that jokes are based on humor and that there is nothing comical about the situation being discussed. Smart people force the offending party to be introspective about how they speak to others.
3. 'It's not about you'
Have you ever started pouring out your feelings and struggles to someone and they turned the conversation into a discussion about their own issues? You might have felt the need to redirect by telling them that, in that moment, they are not the topic of discussion. The average person might feel dismissed or insulted, further centering the interaction around them and their feelings.
But if you fall into the category of the highly intellectual, someone telling you that it's not about you will cause you to pause and think about how you are showing up in the conversation. You will be open to the idea that perhaps you did commandeer the exchange and are coming off as self-absorbed. Only the most astute among us can self-correct and redirect their focus.
4. 'It's not that hard. Why can't you get it?'
For the regular schmegular thinker, being told that a task they are struggling with should be easy implies that they are stupid or ill-equipped to handle the most simplistic of jobs. They immediately feel like an underachiever who just doesn't get it.
But highly intelligent minds see this phrase as a challenge. They seek to understand what they are missing or how they are getting it wrong in order to get it right. Sharp people are smart enough to know that they don't know everything. What makes them part of the mental upper echelon of society is their thirst for knowledge and understanding, and their ability to implement what they have learned.
5. 'You're not very good at this'
The average person hates being told that they simply are not good at something. They misguidedly think it is possible to be perceived as the best at everything they do. When someone comes along and bursts their bubble, they get upset and either give up or go somewhere where they will be blindly praised and never criticized.
Those of elevated intellect know that they cannot be everything to everybody. There are things in life that will come naturally to them and things that might be difficult to grasp. Though they are confident in their ability to learn new things, they are even more adept and knowing what's for them and what is not. They know exactly when to walk away and let someone more qualified have the opportunity.
6. 'I expected more from you'
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When someone tells you that they expected more from you, you can see it in one of two ways. Either you are an average thinker who zooms in on the disappointment they have shared, feeling like a failure. Those words can bring shame and self-loathing, causing you to stop trying and find something easier to do.
But those blessed with exceptional understanding see the compliment within the criticism. They take those words to mean that they have set a high bar, and people expect nothing but excellence from them. They easily take accountability when they know they did not put their best foot forward, do better, and never take things personally.
7. 'I'm not impressed'
Hearing that your hard work did not meet expectations can be difficult for anyone, especially those who tend to internalize harsh words and see them as a roadblock rather than an incentive to do better.
However, those who are among the most emotionally intelligent look to the heart of the comment. They know that they are not for everyone and that no one is required to co-sign everything they accomplish. High-level thinkers can assess their performance based on feedback and understand what they could have done better.
8. 'You're not listening'
There is a saying that if you argue with a fool, it will look like two fools arguing. Being accused of not listening can easily erupt into a debate over who is or isn't being heard and whose point is more valid. This is unproductive, ineffective, and guaranteed not to get the desired outcome.
If you tend to have sophisticated comprehension skills, you hear these words and understand immediately that the person you are interacting with does not feel heard. You may feel the same, but know the importance of validating their feelings before addressing yours to open the lines of communication instead of making them shut down.
9. 'If I were you... '
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Usually, when someone starts a conversation by putting themselves in your shoes, they are about to give you some unsolicited advice or tell you what you did wrong. Average people brace themselves for what is to come by putting up an invisible shield that even the most logical words can't penetrate.
If you are highly intellectual, you know that you can learn something from everyone. You are open to other opinions and have the discernment to know what advice should be kept and what can be disregarded. You are not offended by the opinions of others because you know that we all have different ways of doing things.
10. 'That's a no-brainer'
Similar to "it's not that hard," calling something a "no-brainer" exhibits an expectation that everyone should be able to do it without any difficulty. This can discourage inferior minds from asking for help if needed and create undue stress to get it right, even if they don't have the necessary tools and resources.
Superior thinkers take other people's judgments about how hard or easy something is with a grain of salt. They know we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and can decipher the level of difficulty for themselves. They are not afraid to ask for help when necessary and can admit that they are struggling without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
11. 'You should have known better'
The expectation that we are all operating from the same morals, values, or social norms is unrealistic and can lead to expectations that leave you disappointed. When failing to take heed to a risk or warning and being told that they should have known better, the average person will see those words as an attack on their level of basic understanding.
Highly intelligent minds know that people expect the best when it comes to them, and not getting that can be surprising and disappointing. At the same time, they have the communication skills to tell the person who expects them to know better that they do not share the same life experience and not to make assumptions about what they do and don't know.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
