11 Phrases Deeply Annoying People Say On A Regular Basis
If your eye twitches whenever you hear someone say these things, chances are you're thoroughly annoyed.
StanislavM77 | Shutterstock Nobody wants to be annoying, but some people really don’t seem to notice when they are. Whether it's a clueless coworker or a family member who always says the wrong thing, we've all had to deal with someone who lacks basic social awareness. There are some phrases that annoying people tend to say on a regular basis that drive most of us crazy.
Still, most of us have had to learn how to deal with people like this, whether they mean to be rude or not. And yeah, it can be hard not to snap when someone says something wildly disrespectful, but here's the good news: once you start recognizing the signs early, it gets a lot easier to protect your peace and steer clear.
Here are 11 phrases deeply annoying people say on a regular basis:
1. ‘I’m just being honest’
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The first phrase deeply annoying people say on a regular basis is, "I'm just being honest." This one always comes right after someone says something rude and thinks slapping the word "honest" on it makes it okay. Most people say this phrase to excuse their rude words and even ruder behavior. Being honest doesn't give anyone a free pass to be mean, and if they have to clarify, it probably wasn't kind to begin with.
As psychotherapist Avrum Weiss, Ph.D., explained, people who say this are protesting their ability to be held accountable. They continued, "They are being insensitive, in the true meaning of the word, which is to show no feelings or concerns for another’s feelings.”So, the next time someone tries to say, "I'm just being honest," point out their rudeness. Respectfully, of course. Not only will this make them feel sheepish, but it'll also help set boundaries and teach people how to treat you.
As strange as that sounds, sometimes, people will say the rudest of things, believing that others won't call them out. However, it's only when they're called out and reprimanded that they learn from their mistakes and tread carefully moving forward.
2. ‘Why do you take everything so seriously?’
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Translation: "I said something insensitive and don’t want to be held accountable." Life is already stressful — the last thing anyone needs is to be told their concerns aren't valid. With the rising costs of groceries and home prices, it's no wonder so many people are on edge. That's why it's so annoying when people ask, "Why do you take everything so seriously?"
Sorry, but when it comes to work or bills, people will naturally take things seriously. In life, it isn't always about having fun and being the 'go with the flow.' Sometimes it's better to be serious than to joke around and ignore the pressing issue at hand.
Nonetheless, people don't want to feel like their concerns aren't valid or important. Whether they intended to or not, disregarding someone's feelings can be hurtful and frustrating. According to a study published in Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, being ignored leads to people believing they are not significant enough to be worthy of people's attention. So, while they may not mean to, annoying people should be mindful of what they say; otherwise, they could unintentionally hurt those closest to them.
3. ‘You need to calm down’
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This one never lands well. If anything, it ramps things up — because no one in the history of ever has calmed down after hearing those annoying four words: "you need to calm down".
Everyone flips out from time to time. Regardless of whether they planned for it, life is stressful, and with stress comes the inevitable crash-and-burn effect. From partners not listening to bosses expecting the most for little pay, people are bound to lose their minds once in a while, which is understandable.
This phrase that annoying people regularly use should never leave their mouths. Even if someone is being irrational, telling them to 'calm down' isn't all that helpful. According to licensed mental health counselor Anthony D. Smith, LMHC, "Telling an anxious person to 'calm down' or 'just don't think about' their anxiety can make them feel unsupported and irritated."
So, what should people say instead? Simply saying something like, "Hey, I think tensions are a bit high right now, and it's better to take a break and revisit this conversation later," is someone's best bet. Not only does this validate someone's feelings, but it also allows both people to calm down before reengaging (without actually saying those words), which leads to better conflict resolution.
4. ‘How do you not know that?’
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Listen, not everyone is a walking dictionary, and sometimes, people aren't as educated as they'd like to be. With so many cultures, topics, and countries in this world, there will come a point in which someone doesn't know something that 'should be obvious,' according to the other person. People are allowed to not know things — it doesn't make them dumb, it makes them human.
Still, just because something should be obvious doesn't mean they need to be annoying about it. That's why it's so frustrating when we hear, "How do you not know that?" on the regular. No one likes to hang out with someone who thinks they're smarter than everyone else.
According to Professor of Psychology Joachim I. Krueger, Ph.D., "Braggarts pay a reputational cost because they fail at perspective-taking." So, while they might be in disbelief, it's better to keep it to themselves and educate instead. Otherwise, they may look like a bit of a jerk.
5. ‘No offense, but…’
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Another phrase deeply annoying people say on a regular basis is, "No offense, but..." What always follows this is, in fact, offensive. Honesty is usually the best policy, but sometimes, there are better ways to say things.
For instance, if someone looks like a hot mess, it's better to say, "Hey, let me fix this for you," rather than, "No offense, but you look awful today." Whether they realize it or not, how someone talks can truly indicate what type of person they are.
Listen, if someone is going to say something offensive, they might as well do it outright. Don't try to sugar-coat it. Not only does this make for ineffective communication, but it's also confusing. According to a study published in the Journal of Pragmatics, people who miscommunicate and are unclear are viewed as unserious, confusing, and frustrating. So, the next time someone says this phrase, respond with, "Just to say what's on your mind." That way, both parties can avoid false niceties and get straight to the point.
6. ‘I’m not like other people, I’m built differently’
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Okay, but are you really? Or are you just fishing for attention in the most cringeworthy way possible? Sorry to say this, but nobody is truly that unique that they can claim to be built differently. From the most famous celebrities, almost all of them are just like everyone else, just famously rich. This is why it's so infuriating when people gloat that they're "not like other people" and that they must be "built differently."
You're allowed to be unique without making it weird, and it's okay to be just like everyone else. Our commonality is how people connect. Known as the similarity effect, people are drawn to others whom they perceive to be similar to them, according to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Now, does this mean that people are completely the same and that there are absolutely no differences? Of course not. Someone might be more outgoing than the other person. However, we all love, we all cry, and we all have our flaws. And acknowledging those similarities and seeing the human in one another is perhaps the best way to connect with each other, whether people realize it or not.
7. ‘It’s not that deep’
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There's no greater pain than being ignored, dismissed, or disrespected by someone, especially someone who's dear to you. It might not be deep to them, but brushing off someone else’s emotions by saying, "It's not that deep," screams emotional immaturity. People are allowed to feel things, and sometimes, it is that deep. The pain caused might be unbearable, leaving them confused and unsure of their standing in the relationship with the other person.
Unfortunately, annoying people often fail to see things from others' perspectives because they lack social awareness. This makes sense, as according to resiliency and wellness scholar Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, Ed.D., "Social awareness is the ability to read the room, see things from other people’s perspectives, sense and understand the emotional needs of others, and show empathy."
Regardless, just because that person is not socially aware doesn't mean they can't work on it. If someone truly wants to be better and less annoying, then learning to see things from other people's perspectives and remaining open-minded is non-negotiable.
8. ‘You should smile more’
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Everyone who's ever worked in public service has heard this phrase uttered at some point in their lives. It's frustrating, but a phrase that deeply annoys people is, "You should smile more." Nobody owes anyone a smile — and being told to fake one is both creepy and condescending.
Despite what an annoying person may think, sometimes, people have bad days, and sometimes, they're way too exhausted to force being happy. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it's much better to be authentic to oneself during these moments, as researchers cited that suppressing emotions leads to less satisfaction and less social support.
Annoying people don't understand this need and instead, make everything about themselves and how they feel about the other person's behavior. Doing this doesn't just make them look like a complete jerk — it makes them unlikable, which is probably why people refuse to smile around them in the first place.
9. ‘If I were you…’
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Unsolicited advice is rarely helpful and almost always annoying. It's only natural to want the best for someone, but saying a phrase like "if I were you..." regularly isn't the way to help. Unless someone asked what you’d do, maybe just don’t.
There is a huge difference between wanting the best for someone and interfering with their decisions. Frequently giving unsolicited advice like this can lead to being permanently excluded from their life.
That said, there are better ways to speak up; it's better to ask first before saying what's on their mind. A simple, "May I offer up some advice?" would suffice. Just make sure to respect their wishes if they say no.
10. ‘Wow, you actually like that?’
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While people might be similar at their core, this doesn't mean that they'll always like the same thing. While some enjoy a good novel, others might enjoy reading manga. However, these differences aren't a bad thing, and often, they can be shared and enjoyed together.
Unfortunately, not everyone is as open-minded and kind as we'd like. This is why a phrase deeply annoying people say on a regular basis is, "Wow, you actually like that?" Saying something like this is straight up rude. Let people enjoy things — it’s not that hard. Not everyone will like the same things as everyone else, but arguably, this is what makes life enjoyable when people can share those differences.
11. ‘Why are you so quiet?’
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Finally, the last phrase deeply annoying people say on a regular basis is, "Why are you so quiet?" Listen, not everybody is as hyper and extroverted. Just because someone isn’t talking doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Not everyone wants to be the loudest in the room, and calling it out just makes things awkward. Sometimes, people would prefer to observe conversations rather than actively participate in them.
Now, is this a bit uncomfortable? Sure, it can easily lead someone to question whether the person is upset or feeling left out. That said, there are better ways to ask than screaming this phrase from across the room. For instance, leaning in to quietly ask, "I just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay?" That slight change in phrasing can make all the difference in someone's response. Not only does it make them more comfortable, but it also can encourage them to express what's on their mind without feeling called out or awkward about it.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
