People Who Stay Calm During Chaos Usually Notice 6 Things Those Who Panic Miss
mehmetcan / Shutterstock Stress is a part of everyday life that no one can avoid at all times. Work, travel, home life, and school are just a few of the stressors we have to manage. It can be a lot, and everybody handles stress differently. Some people are able to stay calm no matter how chaotic things get, while others panic and take it out on those around them.
There are many reasons people handle stress the way they do, many of which relate back to childhood. Because of the lessons they've learned, they tend to notice specific things that keep them grounded even while everyone else involved panics.
If someone almost always stays calm in the middle of chaos, it's because they notice these things that those who panic miss
1. The immediate next step
One of the main reasons people freak out in stressful situations is that they focus only on the big picture. Let's say someone misses their flight. Calm people know they can get on another one, while people who panic get stuck thinking about the money or time they lost.
According to Professors Stefan Gröschl and Jan Lepoutre, "gradual exposure to incrementally more challenging tasks" is the best way for people to learn new skills and make the best decisions. When stressors are thrown at someone, it can be hard for them to break down the steps to do the next thing.
2. Their own responses
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People who stay calm in chaotic situations usually recognize the early signs of stress rather than waiting until they're completely overwhelmed. They notice subtle changes in themselves, such as a racing heartbeat, tense shoulders, shallow breathing, or the urge to react impulsively. Just as importantly, they pay attention to what's happening emotionally, whether that's catastrophic thinking or rising frustration.
That self-awareness gives them an important advantage. Because they recognize their stress response early, they're more likely to pause, take a few steady breaths, gather their thoughts, or adjust their approach before emotions take control. Rather than denying what they're feeling, they acknowledge it and respond intentionally.
The ability to notice your own internal state before it dictates your behavior is one of the defining characteristics of emotional self-regulation, which is why calm people often appear composed even when they're experiencing the same stress as everyone else.
3. The actual source of the conflict
It is easy for people to start spiraling when they are dealing with stressful situations. This is typically because, in such situations, there are often many different stressful factors at play.
When people are stressed at work, they may not pause to consider why, which can lead to anger and disappointment at their inability to lighten the situation. However, calm people do their best to identify the source of their stress and then evaluate the best way to navigate it from there.
A good technique to do this is journaling, which Harvard Medical School says is a great way to manage fears and anxieties.
4. Available resources
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A big reason people get stressed out in certain situations is that they feel like they are alone in it. However, people who are able to stay calm think about the resources available to them. Going back to the canceled flight metaphor, a calm person will try to find someone at the airport to book them another flight, whereas a more stressed person will try to do it on their phone on their own and get angry in the process.
Furthermore, it is easy to want to isolate ourselves when we are stressed, but it is important to maintain a good social circle, or else things will only get more stressful. Calmer people make note of who is in their corner.
5. The reality of the situation
What goes up goes down, and nothing remains the same. Calm people know this and recognize it as a core value of theirs. As a result, they can navigate situations with less stress because they know nothing is permanent.
Learning how to let things go is one of the keys to living a less stressful life. Another tool is practicing gratitude. Focusing on what to be grateful for will make stressful situations more manageable. Calmer people notice when the situation is actually stressful, or just something to let go.
6. What they can and can't control
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The pandemic was a huge stressor for basically the entire planet. During this time, psychologists studied the best methods of stress relief. According to Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, "Release any false sense of responsibility for your health and that of others. While you can lower the risk, what ultimately happens is not in your control."
This advice applies not just to health-related stressors, but to everyday ones as well. Calm people tend to focus on what they can control and let go of the things they cannot. This leads to more productivity and a happier lifestyle.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
