People Who Whose Parents Did These 20 Things Often Struggle With Trust As Adults
Ольга Носова | Canva Children are often encouraged and taught to explore the hidden and uncharted parts of their world. They are told this is the way to find out who you are and what you will be. They're told that home is a safe place to seek refuge when those uncharted parts of the world become harsh. Unfortunately, this only works well when this advice is given by parents who support and love them unconditionally. Otherwise, kids may struggle to explore, knowing they can't trust what's waiting at home.
Many parents invade and manipulate, frequently dominate, and verbally manipulate their children. Often, these parents don't know the harm they are causing. Maybe they're repeating old patterns or avoiding old wounds. Either way, there are behaviors that can emotionally restrict their kids, causing attachment issues and problems with trust. Sadly, these behaviors are all to common.
If these 20 parental behaviors were part of your childhood, you may struggle with trust. But hope is not lost. Seek out support and realize that you deserve so much more.
People who grew up with parents who did these 20 things usually struggle with trust as adults:
1. Your parent refused to respect your boundaries as a child.
2. Your parent joked about or belittled you for things that a child is naturally insecure with, such as weight, income, and relationship status.
3. Your parent was always the first priority, and you always came second.
4. When your parent was upset, they used passive-aggressive behavior in response.
5. Your parent gave the silent treatment to one child and elevated another child as the better of the two.
6. Your parent criticized you socially and did not provide support, compliments, or even encouragement in times of dire need.
7. You struggled to show negative emotions and cried in silence, feeling there could be unnecessary shame in revealing your true feelings to your parent.
8. You thought your parent would behave differently if you were just better, smarter, or more successful.
9. Your parent intentionally made you feel guilty when they did not get the desired results from you.
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10. When you accomplished something, you hesitated to share it with your parent, fearing they would be critical of your excitement.
11. Your parent often demanded praise and attention from you.
12. You were a child forcefully made to participate in activities that only interested your parent.
13. Your parent taught you to be respectful through fear and intimidation.
14. You have authority issues in adulthood and have tendencies to be both submissive and inappropriately rebellious.
15. Your parent used money and guilt to manipulate you. You may be constantly reminded of how much you “owe” to your parent.
16. Your parent often said they had really always wanted to be childless.
17. Your parent often blamed you for their own inappropriate reactions and bad behavior.
18. As an adult, you feel terrified to own up to mistakes publicly.
19. Your parents' tough love was an affirmation of love and security.
20. As a child, you rarely tried new things or took risks because you were afraid of failing, no matter what the condition.
Falcon Kestral is a writer who focuses on relationships, lifestyles, and personalities.
