People With High IQ & Low Tolerance For Idiocy Rarely Complain About 8 Minor Things
Niko Pacheco | Shutterstock We often think of intelligence as a fixed trait: you’ve either got it, or you don’t. In reality, it's not that simple, and there are different types of intelligence that impact different parts of our lives. People who are blessed in the IQ department and also can't stand iditos rarely kvetch about a few things.
People with true intelligence and low tolerance for idiocy usually never complain about these minor things:
1. Other people’s success
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High-IQ folks separate their individual self-worth from other people’s successes because they know that falling too deep into the comparison trap will only make them feel bad about themselves. They recognize that someone else’s win doesn't automatically mean they lose. When people judge themselves according to what others have, they get stuck in a scarcity mindset. They focus on what they lack rather than what they have, which leads them away from gratitude toward envy.
“Social comparison is a very natural human tendency,” psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren explained. “It's natural to compare yourself to others, and the consequences of those comparisons can be helpful/adaptive or harmful/maladaptive. The goal is not necessarily to stop comparing because I'm not sure that's a reasonable possibility, but to ensure that the way you compare yourself to others is accurate and helpful.
2. Waiting in long lines
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High-IQ people mentally prepare themselves for things like going to the DMV or grocery shopping before a big holiday, and they accept that waiting in line is part of the process — you can't Lightning Lane your way through life. (That's a Disney joke.) They might feel frustrated, but they don’t kvetch, because they're aware that complaining doesn’t make the line move faster. While standing in long lines often feels like a waste of time, truly intelligent people understand that it’s an unavoidable part of living around other people, and everyone, including the DMV clerk, is doing the best they can.
3. Getting stuck in traffic
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Much like standing in line, sitting in traffic is one of those experiences that can make someone's blood boil, but truly intelligent people take a “live and let live” perspective on the issue. They understand that traffic is an unavoidable part of modern existence, so they put their precious mental energy toward other things.
Whether they’re commuting to work or taking charge of their kids’ endless extracurricular carpool, being in the car is often the only true alone time that people get. Travel is rarely as simple as getting from one point to the next. There can be unforeseen circumstances, like construction or an accident or a family of ducks that decided to roost in the middle of a crowded intersection.
High-IQ folks take these detours as time for being with themselves. They reflect on their day; they let their imaginations wander. They listen to podcasts and learn something new. They play music that brings them joy, until the traffic jam goes from being an inconvenience to an opportunity for a one-person dance party in the front seat.
4. Negative feedback
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Intelligent people see feedback for exactly what it is: a message on how they can improve and grow. During a lecture at the 2019 annual convention for the Association for Psychological Science, psychology professor Carol Dweck discussed how two varying theories of intelligence can either hinder or encourage learning new things.
People with a fixed mindset see their intelligence and intellectual capabilities as static entities, meaning they’re either smart or not, and nothing they do can change that. Someone with a fixed mindset has an end goal of looking smart, which influences their approach to learning. They don’t take on challenging subjects or tackle hard assignments because they think having to work hard means they’re not actually smart. They’re more focused on being right than learning anything new, which means they’re deeply scared of making mistakes.
In contrast, people with a growth mindset believe their abilities and level of intelligence can be developed over the course of their lifetime. They put concentrated effort into learning new skills because they know that trying things out and making missteps is how true learning happens. Smart people thank the other person for sharing feedback, warranted or not, and set their sights on how they can improve.
5. Mundane tasks and chores
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Another thing intelligent people never complain about is doing mundane tasks and household chores. Sure, there’s a million other things they’d rather be doing than scrubbing the bathroom sink or folding laundry, but they see value in the routine these tasks provide. They know there’s no magic cleaning fairy or an especially helpful elf that will run to the post office for them. Mundane chores are an unavoidable part of life, and truly intelligent people don’t let themselves get caught up in any negativity by complaining about them.
Intelligent people also know that having a clean, organized home will help them be as productive as possible. Getting their chores checked off sets them up for success, as researchers have discovered.
Being in a cluttered environment restricts people’s ability to focus on the task at hand and limits their cognitive processing. Trying to get work done at a desk covered by papers, half-empty coffee mugs and discarded orange peels is much harder than working in an organized and uncluttered space.
Intelligent people get their chores done on a regular basis, because they’re fully aware that their brains work better when there’s less mess.
6. Outside opinions
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Truly intelligent people never complain about the opinions other people have about them. They understand that being a person in the world means that not everyone will agree with them or even like them, so they release their need to evaluate themselves based on external factors.
Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Pria Alpern describes a “core internal conflict” that comes up in her practice: The issues that arise with seeking external validation. “We live in a culture where we are preoccupied with what other people think of us; so much so that the fear of being judged and the need to avoid shame can shape our behavior, because we all want to belong.”
“The problem arises when we find ourselves sacrificing things based on how we anticipate others will react. And that's where it gets tricky, because then we start making decisions and live our lives based on the anticipation of others’ reactions,” she continues. “The reality is, we can’t always predict what others will think of us. In fact, what others think about often has nothing to do with us." Smart people have this last sentence memorized.
7. Unexpected challenges
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Truly intelligent people never complain about unexpected challenges that come their way. They know that life’s journey is anything but smooth, and they recognize that facing challenges helps them to grow into their most authentic selves.
Having a strong understanding of your core values even amid incredibly hard things lets you match your actions to your intentions, and knowing that inner part of yourself takes deep self-reflection and the willingness to ask yourself uncomfortable questions and hear the answers that resonate most with you. “Many situations in life are difficult, but they also offer you a profound gift: the ability to become more authentic,” Dr. Warren concludes.
8. Other people’s annoying habits
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People who don't suffer fools rarely complain about other people’s habits, as long as those habits aren’t actively harmful, because what's the point? Everyone has quirks, and smart people know that complaining doesn't lead anyone to change who they are.
They might be annoyed by their partner’s tendency to leave their socks crumpled in weird places around the house, but they’re also aware that the sock scavenger hunt is only a small part of who their partner is. They love people because of their inconsistencies and habits, not in spite of them, which allows them to focus on having truly meaningful relationships with the people they care about.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
