People With Incredibly High Conversational Ethics Usually Refuse To Say 6 Common Things
PeopleImages | Shutterstock When someone has conversational ethics, it means they communicate with integrity and active listening. This sounds like a bunch of random psychobabble, but it's actually pretty simple. It basically means you do your best to listen and understand while communicating honestly.
People who have high levels of conversational ethics are careful in what they say and how they say it. This is a skill not taught to us as children, so we have to learn it through trial and error. As we learn, we discover a few common phrases that definitely do not fit into this definition.
People with incredibly high conversational ethics usually refuse to say these 6 common things:
1. 'You're too sensitive'
People with high conversation ethics don’t use other people’s feelings against them. They can disagree with a person’s interpretation of what happened without declaring their feelings as wrong.
They know that validating a loved one's feelings does not mean you agree with them, it just means you hear them and that you're doing your best to empathize. A person who tells someone that they're too sensitive is definitely not trying to empathize, they're trying to get them to ignore how they feel. Often, this is due to the listener's own discomfort, not an actual problem.
2. 'I'm just being honest'
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Yes, we all need honest people in our lives. However, honesty and unnecessary cruelness are two different things.
For example, if our friend does something that we don’t agree with, we can find a nice way to tell them that. And if they're truly our friend, then we owe that level of honesty and accountability to them.
However, what we don’t need to do is make them feel super bad about themselves for no reason. At the end of the day, everything is a learning lesson.
3. 'Calm down'
Telling someone to calm down normally just escalates the situation even more. Ethical communicators know how to address the issue rather than police the other person’s emotional state.
Instead of saying “calm down” they will say something like “OK, let’s take a breath" or "if we can zoom out on this problem, I think it's not going to be as overwhelming". These subtle phrases are not accusatory but get the same point across.
Phrases like "calm down" are just more ways to invalidate other people's feelings, which is not ethical or compassionate behavior.
4. 'I'm tend to be right most of the time'
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It’s one thing to think about how often you are correct, but it’s a whole other thing to say it.
Some people genuinely believe that they are always correct, but the truth is, this is not scientifically possible. People with high conversational ethics are aware of their own human tendency to make mistakes, so they don’t say things that imply that they are always right.
Instead, they will try to see all sides of a situation and give advice regarding that. Someone who prioritizes conversational ethics won't give in and agree when they disagree. Rather, they might think to themselves, I'm pretty sure I'm correct and then let the subject go.
5. "That's not my problem"
Sometimes a friend comes to us with a problem and we don’t know how to help or maybe the problem doesn't actually have anything to do with us. This doesn’t mean we can’t at least acknowledge their feelings. Even if we need to set a boundary with them, we can do it without being dismissive.
Good friends go out of their way for each other, and this means emotionally. There’s a difference between setting a boundary and making somebody feel foolish for asking for help. For example, you could say, "I want to be able to help you, but I'm not sure what I can do".
6. "I already told you"
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People with high conversational ethics don’t weaponize people for having to repeat things from time to time. In fact, experts say it's normal to forget what people say to you sometimes.
If somebody is going through something, sometimes they are not listening at full capacity, or maybe there's a lot going on in the background. It's also possible the message was not delivered as clearly as the speaker thought.
Therefore, people with good conversational ethics will recognize the level that other people are at, realistically, and most of the time try to meet them there rather than shame them for forgetting.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
