People Who Have A True 'That’s My Person' Friend Usually Notice These 7 Traits In Them
A. C. | Pexels These days, it seems harder to make true 'that's my person' friends. Sometimes it's not easy to tell who is a friend and who is not. Who will be there through life's ups and downs? And who won't? The importance of friendship is undeniable. Friendship creates a sense of belonging and comfort.
Having solid friendships is good for our health: Research shows that positive, supportive friendships predict our overall happiness better than pretty much anything else, giving us real tools to deal with depression, anxiety, and loneliness. The value is in how good those friendships actually are, and friendship quality turns out to be one of the biggest predictors of how well you'll do throughout your entire adult life.
People who have a true 'that’s my person' friend usually notice these 7 traits in them:
1. They never make you feel judged
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They allow you to get vulnerable and trust them with your deepest thoughts and secrets. They won't tell a soul; they're a vault. Research shows that intimacy grows when you share vulnerable stuff and get support instead of criticism back. When someone responds with understanding rather than judgment, you naturally trust them more, and the friendship gets way deeper.
2. They don't expect anything from you
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They're not there for a favor, a job, a reference, or a babysitter. They just want to be in your life. They give to you freely because they want to make your life better. Research on helping behavior shows that when friends give support without keeping score or making you feel like you owe them, it creates way healthier relationships. The best friendships happen when people give freely instead of constantly calculating what they're getting back.
3. They've stuck around through your absolute messiest moments
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They have been there for you when you've let yourself go when you messed up, had your most embarrassing moments, lost a loved one, or when you've cried your eyes out over a breakup. They don't care how you look or how bad things have gotten. They are there with their hands held out and encouraging words.
4. They're truly excited for your wins
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Whether it's been in person or in spirit, they were there when you reached a milestone, celebrated a success, or took the plunge. They make you feel empowered, proud, and jubilant. When you share good news, and someone genuinely celebrates with you, you actually feel way more joy than the event alone would create, research has shown. Having someone truly excited for your wins doesn't just make the moment better butalso strengthens the entire friendship.
5. They are reliable
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They are the ones when you need someone to talk to or be there. Neither time nor space has changed your relationship. It doesn't matter if they moved across the country or if they're in your backyard. They're a phone call away, and you can count on them.
6. They make you laugh and laugh with you
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They are the ones you get into trouble with. They are fun to be around, and any situation can turn into a riot. Research found that shared laughter, when both people are cracking up together over an inside joke, is directly linked to how close friends feel and how satisfied they are with the friendship. Laughing together signals you see the world similarly and creates little connection boosts that add up over time.
7. They just get you
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They understand you like no one else. They instantly know what you need to get out of a rut or solve a problem. They tell you what they think you need to know, directly and compassionately. And they don't judge you. They are your soul sister. When you have one of these rare friends for life, cherish them and tell them how grateful you are.
Lisa Petsinis is an ICF-credentialed life and career transition coach. Her bylines have appeared on Psych Central, The Good Men Project, Parade, Prevention, The Minds Journal, PopSugar, and All4Women, as well as many others.
